On Marathons, the World Series, the Ritz-Carlton, Steve Jobs, and Drive

These past few weeks have been pretty hectic. A marathon, a heartbreaking World Series, three weeks of overseas travel, and general holiday malaise combined with downright laziness to help explain Eddyfication’s slumber. However, I’ve been itching to get back on the blogging horse for too long and a recent movie viewing spurred me to finally re-engage. Before I go into that, a couple of events deserve recounting.

First, this year’s Chicago Marathon. Despite coming down with a nasty cold two days prior, I managed to finish in 3 hours and 50 minutes, which was 20 minutes off my target pace. It was good enough to place me in the 18th percentile among all runners and 24th percentile among my cohort (males in their early 30′s). I coughed up my fair share of mucous along the way but it was the final 4-5 miles that really crushed me.  Apparently, those salt pills that I scoffed at were recommended for a reason, as the twelve pounds of banana that I consumed along the way didn’t do enough to ward off some pretty killer cramps during the home stretch.  I had to pull over to stretch away a spasm probably 15-20x during the last several miles.  And I’m pretty sure I ran the final two miles without ever actually bending my right leg for fear of inviting yet another bout of jaw-clenching misery.  But for the fact that I was surrounded by similarly-situated maniacs also on the verge of total collapse, I would’ve worried that I looked like a complete imbecile as I made my way towards the finish.  And serving as a testament to the human body’s potential, I somehow managed to sprint the final 400 meters (or at least that’s what it felt like I was doing).  As I was gliding to the finish, I was passed by another runner whose own burst of energy quite clearly surpassed my own.  However, the poor guy stumbled exhaustedly as he crossed the finish line, clumsily trying to grab anything around him for support as he collapsed in a tired heap.  Luckily, I mustered a semi-normal fist pump as I crossed the finish line and have managed to convince myself that I appeared none the worse for wear.  As if I needed reminding that the human body isn’t built for such feats, being surrounded at the finish station by a sea of EMTs and horizontal bodies either writhing in agony or completely catatonic provided a quick reality check.  Us humans are simply not meant to run 26.2 miles nonstop; therefore, not only was this my first marathon but it will also mark my last.  My bucket list has been checked.  Moving on.

Second, I got to suffer through yet another World Series loss for my hometown Texas Rangers.  At least last year the Rangers were pretty much out of it from the start against the Giants.  This year, however, we were literally one out away from a championship not once but twice and still couldn’t pull it off in the end.  I knew right when Freese performed his Game 6 heroics that the Rangers didn’t stand a chance in Game 7.  It was the type of momentum swing that doomed infamous Game 6′s of yesteryear, including the Boston Red Sox in 1986 (Billy Buckner) and the Chicago Cubs in 2003 (Steve Bartman).  I just knew the Rangers would fall flat in Game 7.  And sure enough they did.  While it’s certainly quite the accomplishment to make it to the World Series in back-to-back years, losing both times dulls the magnitude of such a feat.  I’m afraid I’m stuck with teams (like the Fighting Irish and Dallas Cowboys) that simply lack the fortitude to win consistently, especially when winning calls for showing up big in big games and making plays in crunch time.  Now excuse me while I take a break from my armchair complaining to grab another beer.

By the way, I attended Game 2 of the Series, which was pretty damn cool.  I drove down to St. Louis from Chicago with my little brother, a trip that helped me appreciate the dangers that lie hidden in the “ultimate driving experience”.  Not accustomed to opening my car up on the open road, I routinely eclipsed 100 mph without even noticing it.  (This is where the smooth driving experience that the Germans manufacture can very well spell doom.)  We stayed at the Hyatt Regency St. Louis, which is located right next to the Gateway Arch and a mere ten-minute walk from Busch Stadium.  The stadium was quite nice, a decent mix of new and old that managed to retain its classic feel.  The game itself was a defensive struggle, a nail-biter that saw the Rangers pull one out with some scrappy play in the 9th inning, providing me with the unique opportunity to annoyingly cheer on my winning team while surrounded by a sea of enemies.  Among the observations to be made during the game was the unexpected civility of the crowd, which took me by surprise until I reminded myself that we were at the World Friggin’ Series, where price discrimination self-selects a certain type of obedience among those with the means to actually attend the game in person.

Third, my travels out East were mostly par for the course.  Hong Kong was its usual hyper-consumptive and buzzy self, and my first visit to Tokyo was met with equal parts nostalgia and melancholy.  It was great to see old buds and reminisce by visiting some of our old spots.  But it was strange to be there without the full crew of friends and family.  And though Tokyo remains an awesome city with unmistakable style, I detected a sense of loss that pervaded everything around me.  Maybe it was the distinct lack of expat sightings and/or the disappearance of certain standbys (our grocery store, our Citibank ATM, etc.).  Whatever it was, something felt off.  That said, Tokyo remains as incomparable as ever.  It was great to be back and I look forward to my eventual return.

A couple of things stand out about my trip.  First, thanks to certain discounts, I had the occasion to stay at the new Ritz-Carlton Hong Kong (across the harbour in Kowloon) as well as the Ritz-Carlton Tokyo.  Having spent a solid three weeks in these hotels, I can solidly proclaim that I hate the Ritz-Carlton.  I’m guessing this only applies to the international variety, as the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel is among my sentimental favorites.  But the Hong Kong and Tokyo versions are disappointing on multiple levels.  In Hong Kong, for example, you’ve got over-the-top kitschy in terms of decor and the software doesn’t match the hardware (i.e., the service offers nowhere near the polish of the structure itself).  Plus, the hotel managed to completely botch the distinction of having Asia’s highest bar (Ozone on the 118th floor), with views of Central obscured by thick plexiglass and other random objects.  The Tokyo version is exquisite in its service, location, and overall touch, but the style and ambiance don’t mesh with my own sensitivities.  It feels old and stuffy.  The lounge might very well be the most boring one in Asia and the fact that they charge $30 for admission (an invitation to complete and utter boredom) is criminal.  The place has zero vibe and the restaurants offer the unfortunate combination of mediocre taste and stratospheric expense.  It’s basically the anti-Grand Hyatt, which is just a few blocks away and worlds better in virtually every respect.

Second, I got to pass the time alone on weekends and on various bullet trains by absorbing Walter Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs.  At over 600 pages, it’s a rather long read but one befitting its subject.  Jobs was the foremost innovator of his generation and our world will miss his vision with a vengeance, a reality made clearer by digesting Jobs’ story.  Though good on balance, the book itself was slightly disappointing.  Isaacson glossed over a lot of competitive strategy dynamics that I would’ve like to see pursued and the work’s second half had a rushed feel to it.  That said, I still gained plenty of insight into the man and his company, enough to warrant my reading of the book a worthy pursuit.  Among the things I learned: 1) Like many geniuses, Jobs was a difficult man and tortured soul whose treatment of those around him ranged from disdain to infatuation to disinterest; 2) Jobs’ genius lay not as much in his technical know-how as in his vision for what consumers wanted before they even knew it; 3) Extreme attention to detail and slight-to-moderate levels of OCD can sometimes be a good thing for one’s professional life; 4) Jobs led a life full of contradictions, especially as it related to his Eastern spirituality and many mood swings, which made me feel better about my own inconsistencies; and 5) Jobs’ vision was all-encompassing, making him a sight to behold and a visionary in the truest sense of the word, which did a wonderful job of reminding me of my own mediocrity.  In slightly related news, I actually found myself seated near Walter Isaacson while waiting in the United Airlines lounge at Narita Airport.  He was literally sitting fifteen feet away from me, so close that I could actually hear his conversation with two Japanese colleagues.  While I contemplated saying hello, I chose instead to give the man his space (especially since I didn’t really love his book!).  What I found most surprising was the fact that he was spotted without an Apple product in sight, choosing instead to use a Blackberry and a Dell laptop.  As I tweeted upon the sighting, it was as if some sort of cosmic injustice had occurred.

Unfortunately, the journey home ended up being an eventful one, which is never a good way to describe a transcontinental flight.  Luckily, the events had more to do with the passengers than the plane itself, which is very much a good thing.  Being seated in the upper deck of a 747, I heard the overwrought grumbling of a passenger making his way up the stairs as we took to our seats upon boarding.  As he emerged from the stairs and made the turn down the aisle, I caught a solid glimpse of a man overburdened by three large carry-on bags and overcome by the effects of alcohol.  Hammered is an understatement when it comes to describing this man’s condition.  As he stumbled to his seat, flight attendants were scurrying about in an effort to assist the man with his overall situation as well as determine whether or not he was flight-worthy (wondering: what’s the air equivalent of sea legs?).  It just so happened that this winner was traveling with his wife, who I overheard claiming to be a medical doctor traveling with a husband under the influence of a sedative and “not a lick” of alcohol.  Sure thing.  The airline authorities took her story hook-line-and-sinker while the rest of us knowingly rolled our eyes at each other, assuming the worst was yet to come.  Sure as shit, just as our bird began her ascent, an awful stench slowly began to permeate the upper deck cabin and the air soon wreaked of puke.  This elicited at least one gag reflex moment from yours truly, prompting me to surf the plane’s movie selection with my shirt pulled above my nose.  Once the seatbelt sign was turned off, there was plenty of fumbling among the cabin crew and the passed-out misfit’s wife as they attempted to clean him up with plastic bags that I assume were made for the occasion.  The smell eventually abated only to be punctuated by two more puking sessions before we landed.  And I forgot to note that the guy was seated directly behind me.  This led me to a new rule: Anyone puking on a flight for reasons demonstrably attributable to alcohol should be forced to pay a $100 fine to each of the surrounding passengers within a 20-foot radius.  The airline shouldn’t take the blame as it’s quite clearly not to blame for the doofusness of its own passengers.  But the buffoon infringing on the experience of others should absolutely be penalized.

Of course, I got the chance to watch a number of films during my flights and lazy days at home.  What follows below is a breakdown of those movies, listed in no particular order:

  1. Horrible Bosses: Mostly mediocre but kinda fun. Jason Bateman was great as usual and Jennifer Aniston demonstrated some naughtiness that was pretty awesome but that dude from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia annoyed the hell out of me.
  2. Bridesmaids: Pretty funny but just OK.  Kristen Wiig was great as was Jon Hamm and Melissa McCarthy.  But I thought the whole premise was overblown.
  3. Life in a Day: A wonderfully-edited compilation of user-submitted videos from a random day in July 2010.  Beautifully original and genuine.  Produced by Ridley Scott.
  4. The Hangover Part II: Standard, mostly predictable fun that was surprisingly lame in spots.  Yet it was enjoyable all the same.  For whatever reason, I found Zach Galifianakis much funnier this time around.
  5. The Tree of Life: Brad Pitt and Sean Penn starred in this Terrence Malick production, so I figured it had to be halfway decent.  Instead, I forced myself to sit through two hours of total cluelessness (easier to do when you’re on a 15-hour flight).  I’m told Malick is a directorial genius but it’s totally lost on me.  Complete and utter WTF confusion on my part.  I have no idea what this movie was about.  A Seth Macfarlane tweet summed the film up perfectly: “My brother died. Plus, dinosaurs.”
  6. Forks Over Knives: Interesting material but poorly executed.  Still did enough to continue pushing me in the direction of a plant-based diet.
  7. Margin Call: Yet another attempt to explain the financial crisis of 2008 but this time with an impressive ensemble cast and a more informed script than most.  I liked this better than I thought I would (even though jetlag had me drifting in and out).  More even-handed than I expected and it did a particularly good job at humanizing the “other” side of the crisis (that of Wall Street).
  8. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop: This documentary follows Conan O’Brien during his NBC-imposed one-year moratorium from television.  O’Brien’s forced time off spawned his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour, a traveling comedy show that made stops in 30 cities.  Being a fan of Conan, I generally enjoyed the peek behind the curtain.  However, loyal readers know that I was none too pleased with his behavior during the NBC ordeal, so I was only able to enjoy this movie so much.

The final movie that I’ll highlight is Drive.  Starring Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan, it’s the story of an unnamed mechanic/stunt car driver/getaway car driver who is a man of few words.  He befriends a neighbor who is a single mother (the husband is in jail) and who also happens to be of few words.  Naturally, they’re surrounded by people who are of many words and therefore seem less wholesome than they.  I spent the first part of the movie absorbing the blows of boring, predictable cheesiness because: 1) it had a Tarantinoesque art house feel to it; and 2) I knew the tone would eventually turn on a dime (thanks to some light reading on the movie beforehand).  Sure enough, it did.  And as I reflect on the film I realize more and more that I really liked it.  This will no doubt make those who watched it with me roll their eyes (I think I’m quoting Lizzi here when I say it was one of the worst movies she’s ever seen).  But the further I get away from it, the more the movie resonates.  The film’s Danish director, Nicolas Winding Refn, won Best Director honors at Cannes and even received a standing ovation, which I’m left to assume is a rare treat that must mean it was a good piece of work (granted, Cannes also gave the famed Palme d’Or to The Tree of Life, so there goes that theory).  In any event, this is one of those movies that leaves its mark in indescribable ways.  In terms of texture, style, and music, it felt to me like a weird combination of Grindhouse, Requiem for a Dream, and Punch Drunk Love.  I won’t be able to do the movie justice, so I’ll lean instead on the expertise of A.O. Scott of the NY Times, who describes Drive as the “coolest movie around”, and Peter Travers of Rolling Stone, who had this to say:

Buckle up for the existential bloodbath of Drive, a brilliant piece of nasty business that races on a B-movie track until it switches to the dizzying fuel of undiluted creativity. Damn, it’s good. You can get buzzed just from the fumes coming off this wild thing.

To wrap things up, I’ll leave you with the movie’s signature song, A Real Hero by College, which is perfect for the film as it’s as haunting as it is catchy.

Slice Of Awesome: Queen Edition

This is a smashing rendition of Queen’s “Somebody To Love”, where Canadian singer Marc Martel pulls off an uncanny Freddy Mercury imitation.  The video was submitted as an audition for Queen Extravaganza, which is a North American talent search (headed by Queen drummer Roger Taylor) where the winners will headline a live touring show to pay tribute to the band’s 40th anniversary.  Can’t imagine anyone will be able to beat this guy out for the role of Freddy.

Slice Of Awesome: North Korea Edition

This is a fantastic compilation of random North Korean “celebrations” set to the song “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO.  The choreography is great, not to mention the dichotomy struck between the inherent joy of the music itself and the  superficial glee put on display by oppressed masses through force and intimidation.

Let Me Entertain You

My buddy Leo, who also goes by moniker DJ MittenZ, has put out another one of his fine mixes.  As usual, it’s a solid compilation of eclectic tunes that offers more than a handful of gems.  Anyone interested in music is highly encouraged to follow this link for a free download.  His promotional video is kinda fun too.

Let’s Go Mavs! And Mormons!

Having just returned from a three-week tour of Asia, one of the things I’m most excited about is having a chance to watch my hometown Dallas Mavericks take on the Miami Heat in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.  Up 3-2 in the best of seven series, the Mavs are one game away from not only securing the first championship in team history but also from putting a finger in the eye of the Heat’s big three (Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James).  Anyone who isn’t a sociopath and doesn’t hail from Miami knows why Dallas should (in a normative sense) win this series.  But for those who are a bit slow on the uptake and still need help deciding, ESPN’s Rick Reilly has kindly listed 20 reasons why everyone beyond Miami’s city limits should be pulling for Dallas.  All good reasons, of course, though I quite enjoyed the retort of Miami-based humorist Dave Barry, whose reasons to cheer for the Heat (jokingly) included the “fact” that Dirk Nowitzki pronounces his name wrong.

At the end of the day, this Dallas team is largely comprised of good guys who are due for some love from the basketball gods.  The world would simply be a better place if the likes of Jason Kidd, Tyson Chandler, and Dirk Nowitzki won a ring.  Especially if that achievement came at the expense of a talented but narcissistic Miami Heat squad whose diving antics make me wonder if Cristiano Ronaldo has been hired to lend some of his expertise.  Like Kidd, I really hope the Mavs pull this one off for Nowitzki, who is nearing the end of his run as one of the most unguardable players in NBA history and who comes off as a decent human being.  Plus, if he gets his ring and the inevitable Finals MVP that would come with it, he would overtake Dirk Diggler (of Boogie Nights fame) as the first association with one of the cooler names around.

Naturally, this Mavs squad isn’t without its annoying and/or questionable characters.  For example, DeShawn Stevenson has a lame trademark move where mimics the “OK” sign over his eye each time he drains a three.  And he has over 100 tattoos, one of which is (strangely) a backward Pittsburgh Pirates logo on his right cheek.  (Now, the Yankees I could understand.  But the Pirates?!?).  Then there’s Juan Jose Barea, who is the type of player that annoys everyone who isn’t a member or fan of his team (something a quick call to Andrew Bynum would confirm).  Such enmity is exacerbated by the fact that the lucky bastard is dating Miss Universe 2006.  And who could forget the gargantuan ego that is Mark Cuban, who is to sports team owners what Donald Trump is to real estate developers (though his silence during this year’s playoffs has been a welcome break from his usual routine).  But the most unlikable character in my mind is Jason Terry.  Maybe it’s the headband or that stupid jet move he loves to do when he’s on a roll.  Or maybe it’s his over-the-top willingness to give credit to god during his postgame interviews…or that fact that he lists Martin Lawrence as his favorite actor.  Whatever it is, I’ve never really cared for the guy.  He’s a toned-down version of what Michael Irvin represented for me back in the heyday of the Cowboys:  I never liked the Cowboys wide receiver but that didn’t stop me rooting for him while he was helping my team win.  Hypocritical, perhaps.  But as long as these characters aren’t breaking the law, I’m comfortable with such moral ambiguity when it comes to supporting my teams.  So come 7 PM this evening, I will be found happily watching and hoping from the comfort of my couch, greeting each Terry three-pointer with the same cheer that accompanies one of Dirk’s patented fadeaways.  And though I promised myself that I would undergo a bit of a cleanse following two weeks of pure decadence, I’m pretty sure I’ll help myself to a Miller Lite or three.

A Mavericks victory tonight would be made sweeter by a good showing for the Book of Mormon at the Tony Awards, which airs at the same time as the game.  Such programming logistics may force me to do the unthinkable for any self-respecting sports fan, which is surf between one of his team’s biggest games ever and an awards show for Broadway musicals.  This may strike most as counterintuitive but anyone who has seen the show and knew that the supremely talented Andrew Rannells would be performing “I Believe” will understand my dilemma.  At the very least, I highly encourage those who like stuff to DVR the awards show during the game so you can go back and catch a rare glimpse of the best Broadway musical of all time.

Random China

Just arrived in Singapore after a couple days in Beijing.  Among other things, I’m happy to be back in the familiar and comfy confines of the Grand Hyatt (and my visit takes on a special sweetness since I don’t have any exams or homework hanging over my head, a meaningful departure from the past two years).  I’m also quite happy to have relatively free and open access to the Internet.  As everyone knows, China makes it rather challenging to access certain social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, etc.  And though Singapore sometimes gets a tough rap, I find the country wonderfully open when it comes to my blogging shenanigans.

A few highlights from my visit to the Chinese mainland:

  1. I found the people much more pleasant this time around.  Not quite as gruff and aggressive as in the past, which was a nice change of pace.  That being said, I’m still convinced that if I were to be hit by a car while crossing the street, my carcass would lie rotting for days before someone took the time to scoop it up and properly dispose of it.
  2. I ate my fair share of random foods, including what I’m pretty sure were frog legs.  The last time I experimented like this, my face started to shed.  Here’s hoping I don’t wake up tomorrow looking like I spent a weekend on a Hawaiian beach without sunscreen.
  3. Noticed quite a number of older people out and about this morning as I headed to the airport.  In addition to random stretches that may or may not have been Tai Chi, I noticed several people walking backwards.  It felt like a scene from Inception.
  4. I’ve noticed a generally depressed mood when large numbers of Chinese gather.  There is a palpable sense of brooding that is perfectly illustrated by a visit to the airport.  The waiting area outside of my gate this morning could’ve been mistaken for a funeral.  The dichotomy provided by that visual backdrop and the music in my ears (the brilliant Book of Mormon soundtrack) was nothing short of magical.

A proper recap wouldn’t be complete without a few photos (taken with my iPhone so forgive the lackluster quality)…

Hawkers standing outside the Apple store selling iPads and iPhones (of which the store was sold out):

Sharing a sukiyaki dinner (of all things!) with some buddies:

The view from the passenger seat of a motorized bicycle taking us to our next bar (which turned into a race that I lost):

I’m always a fan of the random fashion of the Chinese, whose penchant for colors and matching (among couples) is equal parts hilarious and endearing:

Celebrating The Book Of Mormon In NYC

Just returned from a quick trip to New York and am happy to report that the city is just as great as I remembered it.  Stayed at The London NYC, a cool boutique hotel located at 57th and 7th, just down the road from Radio City and a couple blocks from Central Park.  In addition to being nicely appointed and surprisingly spacious (a boutique with a suite, hoorah!), it had a welcomingly chill vibe and managed a chic feel without the pretension.  On the dining front, I took down a borderline-magical pork chop complemented by some very solid french onion soup at Bar Americain on the first night, which was followed by some scrumptious chili calamari and chicken parmesan the next night at Bobby Van’s.

As satisfying as the lodging and dining experiences were, the highlight of the trip was a new Broadway musical called The Book of Mormon.  A collaboration between the genius tandem of Matt Parker & Trey Stone (of South Park fame) and Robert Lopez (Tony Award-winning writer of Avenue Q), Mormon is a wonderfully satirical take on the ridiculous, modern, and very American religious brain fart of Joseph Smith: the Church of Latter Day Saints.  After spying comedians Jon Stewart and Louis CK in the small audience of the Eugene O’Neill Theatre, I knew I was in for a treat.  And, as expected, the show was nothing short of brilliant.  Sharp, witty, highly offensive, and downright pitch-perfect, I left overwhelmingly satisfied.  Though I’m clearly no expert on the topic, I’ll happily agree with Vogue that Mormon “may just be the funniest musical of all time”.  As evidence, I point to a mouth still sore from 2.5 hours of nonstop smiling and the first laughing-so-hard-I’m-crying fit that I’ve had in years.  The show officially debuts on March 24th (ours was part of a preview run) and here’s hoping that it will mark the start of a long and successful stint on the Great White Way.

I highly encourage anyone interested in good old blasphemous fun to check out Mormon at the earliest opportunity.  I know I shall be back very soon for a second helping, for I believe that tomorrow is a latter day indeed!

All About The Moments

We’ve been treated to another guest post from Ms. Lizzi Sue:

Ali and I were incredibly lucky today. We got to sit on either side of our mom while she got to see her all-time favorite, Diana Ross, at the Oprah Show. For those of you who don’tknow, Deb is a HUGE Diana fan. She played nothing but Diana when we were kids and even introduced us to the concert experience at a Diana Ross show. As girls, we had plenty of dance parties in the living room and the majority involved something about mountains not being high enough and stopping in the name of love.

Anyway, Deb is a woman who doesn’t care about anything flashy or fancy. Her favorite meal is broiled chicken made in her own oven. Expensive jewelry makes her nervous.What my mom loves more than anything is dancing, Diana Ross, and her family, arguably in that order.

When she first got the call that Ms. Ross was going to be on Oprah and she and her daughters were going to be in the audience, she was speechless. Literally. When I called her to find out what the weird voice mail was all about, the call went a little something like this:

Mom: “Oh my god, you didn’t answer your phone. I’m having a heart attack. I can’t breathe. You need to take Monday off. You…you…you…you can’t work on Monday. She’s here Ali.”
Me: “Mom, it’s Lizzi”.
Mom: (all said through tears)“Liz, Ali, I…I…I can’t breathe. Whoever you are, SHE’S HERE! She’s here and we’re going to see her. We’re going to be in the same room as her! She’s going to be on stage! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WEAR?!? I need to sit down. I’m dying! Oh My God.”
Me: (all said through a huge smile/laughter) “Mom, breathe. Who’s here? What’s going on? What are you talking about?”
Mom: “Diana Ross is going to be at Oprah and WE ARE GOING!!!! ME AND YOU AND ALI ARE GOING TO SEE DIANA ROSS AT OPRAH!”

The rest of the call was all about reminding Deb to inhale and exhale (good thing I have all that yoga training!). I found out that two of her incredible customers are producers at the Oprah show and Deb had always begged them that if Diana was ever to come on Oprah, to please remember how much she loved her. Well, they remembered. Not only did they remember, they gave her three tickets so Deb could share the moment with her kids.

The past few weeks have been all about Diana Ross. What to wear, what she might sing,what time we should get there…
And today was the big day. Mom showed up at my house at 8 AM with a suitcase of clothes since, of course, she needed options. We chose the perfect ensemble and were on our way. The whole affair was a “hurry up and wait one” but her level of excitement never wavered.  First we stood in a line to get to the waiting room. She was excited. Then we were in the waiting room and signed waivers…and waited. She was still excited. The room filled up with ladies in sequins, boas, and smiles. And now everyone was excited.

It was finally time to start filling the studio. Special groups were called first. A few groups of women went ahead as we all waited anxiously. And we heard, “Debbie Morris, party of three, come this way, please.” We were IN!!!!! The amazing producer was seating everyone and gave us SECOND ROW seats!

As the production team was gearing everyone up for this incredible show, they singled out Deb and asked her what this show and seeing Diana meant to her. It was Mom’sbig chance to shine and she held it together amazingly. She spoke about how Diana has always been so beautiful, always singing her favorite songs, and now she is sharing it with her two daughters and nothing could ever be better.

It was a moment. Ali and I were crying. To see our mom SO genuinely happy, happy to her bones, was a gift.
Like all moms, Deb sacrificed a lot for Ali and me. Every time holidays or birthdays came around, we always looked at each other with blank stares about what to buy her since, after all, she doesn’t care about “things”. Like I said earlier, not much moves her needle! Our mom has worked her butt off sitting on the floor selling shoes in order to give us great lives. She is the ultimate salesperson who genuinely she loves her job and if anyone deserves a day with Diana, it’s this woman!!!

When Diana Ross came out onto Oprah’s stage, my 58 year-old mother jumped up and down and started screaming the way we did when we saw New Kids On The Block at ages 9 and 11. FULL ON SCREAMING AND JUMPING. It was raw emotion. It was shear joy. It was a moment I hope to never ever forget.

Diana was nothing short of spectacular. She was beautiful and gracious and grounded. The show was great. She sang “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and I must say, it was spectacular (especially from the second row!!!).
Of course, the whole day wasn’t about Diana Ross or a song. It was about fulfilling adream for my mom and creating a very special memory.

And Oprah gave us a Samsung Galaxy tablet (which Matt has already kidnapped!).  All in all, it was a great day. Very happy I was back on this side of the world and able to be there.

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Today’s Geography Lesson

Justin Bieber beat out names like Usher and Eminem on his way to winning four trophies at this year’s American Music Awards.  In reflecting on his monumental triumph, the young crooner had this to say:

This means the world to me.  I come from the smallest town in the world, of like 30,000 people; I never thought this was possible.

No word on whether the residents of Hum, Croatia (population: 24) will seek vengeance for the slight, in this life or the next.

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Aiming High

Drawn in by the tagline “Justin Bieber Talks Relationship With God”, I couldn’t help but waste 30 seconds of my life perusing an interview the little dude did with the Associated Press.  In this wonderful display of hard-hitting journalism, we were treated to a great, thought-provoking quote:

I see myself being like, 30, like, married, like, probably.

We also learned that Bieber avoids the temptations of Hollywood by reminding himself that Jesus died for his sins, which sounds like a fun way to go about life.  No word on whether the interviewer turned in his or her press pass following the interview a la a disenchanted cop turning in the old badge and gun.

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This Is Kinda Funny

A quiz asking whether certain quotes are attributable to Kanye West or mental patients from various movies.

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Slice Of Awesome

I’m diggin’ this song by Chappo, which has been featured on commercials for the new iPod Touch.

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Slice Of Awesome

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Slice Of Awesome

Another fun video from those crazy OK Go folks.  h/t B-Dubs for the heads-up.

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Thom Yorke Won’t Let Me Study

I woke up this morning humming the tune of Radiohead’s “Sulk”.  I have no idea how the song got in my head.  All I know it that it’s from the band’s very splendid album The Bends, which I haven’t listened to in months.  So as I pondered which background music would accompany my afternoon of studying (I’ve got yet another securities exam on Wednesday), I decided to stick with the day’s theme and give Radiohead’s incomparable Kid A another listen.  I figured the album’s dark undertones would perfectly complement my mood.  And why not listen to one of the greatest albums of the last decade while incurring yet more finance-related brain damage?

As is often the case, I was easily distracted during my Yorke-inspired study session, and my first daydream was sparked while taking in the song “How To Completely Disappear” (sadly, that’s track number four on the album, so I didn’t make it far before getting sidetracked).  This song is one of the more hauntingly beautiful tunes I’ve ever heard.  And every time I give it a listen, I’m strangely yet inevitably overcome by the unsettling thought that this would be precisely the song that I would play if I ever decided to kill myself.  Yeah, I know.  That’s pretty weird.  But it’s exactly what I think about each time I hear it.  I just can’t help my twisted self!

Naturally, this got me thinking about the entire album and how brilliantly manic it is.  Which, of course, led me to another tangent, this time recalling Chuck Klosterman’s crazy-but-super-cool theory about how Thom Yorke may have managed to predict the attacks of September 11th with Kid A.  For those curious about the theory, or simply interested in some great writing about all things music and pop culture, I highly recommend that you give his book Killing Yourself To Live a read.  For those not so keen, here’s a taste of where he went with his theory in the book:

The first song on Kid A paints the Manhattan skyline at 8:00 A.M. on Tuesday morning; the song is titled “Everything in Its Right Place.” People woke up that day “sucking on a lemon,” because that’s what life normally feels like on the Manhattan subway; the city is a beautiful, sour, sarcastic place. We soon move onto song two, which is the title track. It is the sound of woozy, ephemeral normalcy. It is the sound of Jonny Greenwood playing an Ondes Martenot, an instrument best remembered for its use in the Star Trek theme song. You can imagine humans walking to work, riding elevators, getting off the C train and the 3 train, and thinking about a future that will be a lot like the present, only better. The term KID A is Yorke’s moniker for the first cloned human, which he (only half jokingly) suspects may already exist. The consciously misguided message is this: Science is the answer. Technology solves everything, because technology is invulnerable. And this is what almost everyone in America thought around 8:30 A.M. But something happens three and a half minutes into “Kid A”. It suddenly doesn’t feel right, and you don’t exactly know why. This is followed by track three, “The National Anthem”

This is when the first plane slams into the north tower at 470 mph.

“The National Anthem” sounds a bit like a Morphine song. It’s a completley different direction from the first two songs on KID A, and it’s confusing; it’s chaotic. “What’s going on?,” the lyrics ask. “What’s going on?” It gets crazier and crazier, until the second plane hits the second tower (at 9:03 A.M. in reality and at 3:42 in the song). For a moment, things are somber. But then it gets more anarchic. (Reader’s Note: You might want to consider playing KID A right about now, since I’m not always so good at explaining shit like this). Which leads into track four, “How to Disappear Completely.” This is the point where it feels like the world is possibly ending. People try to convince themselves that they are not there. People keep repeating: “This isn’t happening”. People are “floating” (read: falling) to the earth. We are told of strobe lights and blown speakers; there are fireworks and hurricanes. This is a song about being burned alive and jumping out of windows, and this is a song about having to watch those things happen. And it’s followed by an instrumental piece without melody (“Treefingers”), because what can you say when skyscrapers collapse? All you can do is stare at them with your hand over your mouth.

Time passes. It’s afternoon. KID A’s side two, if you have it on vinyl. Action is replaced by thought. The song is “Optimistic, ” a word that becomes more meaningful in its absence. It has lyrics about Ground Zero (“vultures circle the dead”), and it offers a glimpse into how Al Qaeda members think Americans perceive international diplomacy (“the big fish eat the little ones, the big fish eat the little ones/Not my problem, give me some”). Track seven, “In Limbo” is about how the United States has been shaken out of its fantasy, with “nowhere to hide,” finding only “trap doors that open, I spiral down”……

Pretty crazy/cool/weird, eh?  This is the type of stuff that I’d rather have occupy my mind.  Not the various methods used to benchmark the performance of private equity funds.  By the way, speaking of the song “Optimistic”, it’s got a really cool ending.  I love songs whose endings either turn super intense or go off on random but totally awesome tangents.  The grandest example of this is the piano exit of Derek and the Dominos’ Layla, used to perfection by Martin Scorsese in Goodfellas.  Beyond “Optimistic”, Radiohead has a couple more gems of this genre, including the aforementioned “Sulk” as well as “Black Star” and “Fake Plastic Trees”.

Ugh…I could go on but the fun must end here.  Having tackled the nuances of private equity, the agenda now calls for a visit to the wild world of commodities.  And away…we…go.

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Not Afraid

Here’s a pretty simple rule that one should always follow:  One’s public persona must be remotely close to how they are in real life.  For example, David Vitter can’t run on a family values platform to finagle a Senate seat while spending his free time cavorting with prostitutes.  To be clear, I could care less whether someone enjoys the company of hired help, just don’t shape your public profile around the notion that you despise such behavior.  And you can’t be a co-founder of the massively conservative – and homophobic – Family Research Council and choose to spend your vacation in Europe with a male prostitute found on the website Rentboy.com.  Again, I could care less if someone is homosexual, so long as their day job isn’t comprised of discriminating against folks of that very persuasion.

I guess what I’m saying is you should practice what you preach.  But it’s actually more than that.  You see, what got me on to this rant was seeing a picture of Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem) while perusing iTunes today (by the way, I downloaded the new Broken Social Scene and I approve).  There was Eminem sitting atop the best-selling singles list with his song Not Afraid, looking back at me with his typical menacing stare.  And I got to thinking – is he really so tough?  I mean, the guy’s appearance doesn’t rate highly on the intimidation scale.  And if we’re being honest, the dude’s physicality isn’t one that strikes fear in the hearts of men like a 50 Cent or Suge Knight.  So I did a little research on the Internet-s and discovered an interesting little tidbit about Mr. Mathers.

Here’s a related – and loaded – question: Who do you think would win in a fight between Eminem and Ben Stiller?  No weapons, no posses.  Just Eminem and Ben Stiller straight up.  We all know Stiller to be a rather diminutive, fun-loving jokester while Eminem likes to tell us how brutally hardcore he is.  Meanwhile, both men are 5′ 8″ (at least according to some spot research online).  And judging by Eminem’s physique, I’d venture to guess that he weighs no more than 160 pounds soaking wet, which leads me to believe that Stiller is stronger on a pound-for-pound basis (have you seen his guns in Tropical Thunder?).

So my vote is for Stiller – and I’m 100% serious.  And so I proclaim the following: I cannot take seriously any hardcore gangsta rapper who I’m fairly convinced would lose to Ben Stiller in a fight.  Same for you, Lil Wayne, who at 5’5″ is, in a word, lil (and sitting eye-to-eye with Woody Allen).  At 6′ 3″, Jay Z can rap away looking as tough as he wants, as can Flo Rida (6’3″) and The Game (6′ 4″).  But at a skinny 5′ 7″, Ludacris needs to tone it down.

By the way, this isn’t just a height issue.  For example, Timbaland is a pretty stout 5′ 7″ as is Nelly at 5′ 10″, so they get a pass.  There’s simply a balance that needs to be struck in order for one’s tough guy image to gain any sort of legitimacy.  And it’s not just a rap issue either, as my problems with such “perception mismatches” began as early as Scarface, where I simply couldn’t reconcile how a skinny, 5′ 6″ Al Pacino could manage to run roughshod over the Miami drug scene.

Let the record show that I’m not trying to belittle Ben Stiller, of whose work I’m a huge fan.  I used him as an example simply because he’s of fairly small stature and strikes most as one of the least threatening guys around.  And despite my distaste for his antics, I actually consider Eminem to be a wildly talented guy, and I agree with his own assessment that he spits some of the “illest lyrics” around.  It’s just that if I ever found myself stuck in a steel cage death match with Mr. Mathers, the words “not afraid” would best describe my state of mind.

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How To Emasculate A Leprechaun

The below video is a travesty of monumental proportion for anyone who identifies as a fan of the Fighting Irish.  Apparently, the powers that be at ND decided to confirm their lame out-of-touchness by hiring the whitest white man on the planet to put together a truly horrific school pride video.  It is one of the more frightening displays of school spirit emasculation I have seen, and I can’t help but wonder how much fun ND’s rivals are having with this train wreck.  I’ve never heard of this Freekbass guy before, but he and his little sidekick make me want to put my fist through the computer screen.

Cover Of The Day

B-Dubs turned me on to this fantastic cover of Crooked Fingers’ “Sleep All Summer” by Matt Berninger of The National and Annie Clark of St. Vincent.  Really good stuff.

Speaking Of Music

Another season of American Idol is upon us, and the show has moved on to Hollywood Week, where the fat gets trimmed big time.  As per usual, I’ve already begun to develop my handful of favorites, a list topped by one Andrew Garcia, whose acoustic performance of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” was off the chain (seriously, never thought I’d write something along those lines, but it’s true!).

Just Breathe

Over the past couple days, I’ve been enjoying Pearl Jam’s latest effort – Backspacer.  It’s a decent compilation.  Not the band’s greatest work, to be sure, but worthy enough to be listened to a couple times through.  The gem of the album is the song Just Breathe.  Definitely one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve heard in a long while.  See the below clip for the goods.

Slice Of Awesome

Slice Of Awesome

Better than the Jason Mraz original?  You be the judge!

Thru-You

This is a pretty cool mash-up of various musicians who post their tunes on YouTube.  Someone going by the name “Kutiman” compiles these things under the moniker “Thru-You”.  It’s pretty fun.  Kinda like the YouTube version of Girl Talk.

Stop And Hear The Music

Grandma came through with another great story for the blog today.  A couple years ago, the Washington Post came up with an idea.  Place a world-renowned violinist in a DC metro station, have him play a highly complicated piece of music on an antique violin worth millions of dollars…and see if anyone stops to take notice.

Each passerby had a quick choice to make, one familiar to commuters in any urban area where the occasional street performer is part of the cityscape: Do you stop and listen? Do you hurry past with a blend of guilt and irritation, aware of your cupidity but annoyed by the unbidden demand on your time and your wallet? Do you throw in a buck, just to be polite? Does your decision change if he’s really bad? What if he’s really good? Do you have time for beauty? Shouldn’t you? What’s the moral mathematics of the moment?

On that Friday in January, those private questions would be answered in an unusually public way. No one knew it, but the fiddler standing against a bare wall outside the Metro in an indoor arcade at the top of the escalators was one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made. His performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities — as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?

It really is a fascinating little social experiment.  I wonder, though, if the disinterest shown by most of the commuters was more a function of their lack of familiarity with the musician, and classical music in general, than a genuine lack of appreciation for everyday beauty.

Whatever the case, a cool story indeed.

Slice Of Awesome

Is it possible that a little Japanese pop could turn into a guilty pleasure of mine?  It would appear so…

Slice Of Awesome

h/t Don for the scoop

Slice Of Awesome

An oldie but goodie.

Coley & Eddy’s Tokyo Playlist

In a break from the standard routine, we made peace with quite a few club songs over our crazy Tokyo weekend.  Below is a smattering of my top picks.  Admittedly, these songs stray far from the beaten path for us.  But you’ve got to admit that they encourage dancing even among those of us cursed with two left feet (save for the last song, which is a bit slower but needed to be included because it was on Rudd’s SNL show).  Thanks to NBC’s lame copyright rules, the only song missing is Andy Sandberg’s wonderful piece from his “Everyone’s a Critic” sketch with Rudd.  I highly encourage all of you to check that skit out on Hulu (which I can’t access from abroad).  Just beautiful.

Song Of The Day

Keep The Lights On by Wave Machines.  h/t B-Dubs for the tip.

Slice Of Awesome

Finding Rick Astley In Singapore

My apologies for the break in posts.  I’ve been a bit preoccupied with travel, work and school, so I haven’t had much time to devote to my blogging.  Not to worry, though, as I expect to be back in full swing by Sunday, at which point you can expect the regular Eddyfication programming to resume.

In the meantime, I walked past a street performer today in Singapore who made me chuckle a bit.  The guy was juggling, which isn’t all that funny.  What was humorous was the fact that he was blaring Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”, which always brings a smile to my face.  For whatever reason, I find pretty much everything about that song funny, starting of course with the video.  Just fantastic.

Here’s a little something for those of you who need reminding:

ra

Slice Of Awesome

Bret Michaels gets owned by a stage prop at the Tony Awards.  Result?  A broken nose and a fat lip.  Doh!

American Idol Wrap

So we made it back in one piece from our charity hike this weekend.  A full post on the event will follow later.  For now, I’ll simply state that no good deed goes unpunished.

In the meantime, allow me a moment to reflect on the end of this season’s American Idol.  I must say that I wasn’t all that surprised that Kris Allen won.  As I mentioned in a previous post, despite all his obvious talent, Adam Lambert didn’t quite have enough going for him in the likability department, which is where Allen nudged him out.  Allen’s got an “awe shucks” quality about him that I imagine much of America found endearing.

For me (I’m channeling Randy Jackson here), the best pipes belonged to Danny Gokey and Alison Iraheta, who finished third and fourth, respectively.  Both have powerful, smokey voices that resonate with me.  Maybe Iraheta is just too young and doesn’t project well enough yet.  And Gokey’s problem is that the dude has no stage presence whatsoever.  He looks to be in a state of fixed awkwardness each time he performs.  Great voice, brutal presence.  His duet with Lionel Richie was cringe-worthy in that respect.

Lambert is what I’d imagine music gurus call technically proficient.  The dude has an incredible voice.  Even more impressive is the control that he has over it.  I don’t think he managed an off-key note the entire season.  Seriously, the dude was pitch-perfect throughout.  And his stage presence was the best of the bunch.  He fit right in with Kiss during the finale performance, both in terms of vibe and voice.  I just got a bit tired of all the screaming, which kind of made him a one-trick pony.

Which brings us to Allen.  A one-trick pony he is not, which allows me to conclude that the most talented artist won.  Not the best singer, not the best performer.  The best artist.  Allen’s ability to complement his good but not great voice with some guitar- and piano-playing was the differentiating factor in his victory.  And he was an underdog, which plays well in America.  So I say kudos to him for that.  He seems like a good guy with a genuine love for music, so I’m happy for him.  But my assessment is that, when it comes to pure singing talent, he is massively outshone by some of his fellow finalists.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s very good.  But I just think that Lambert, Gokey and Iraheta totally explode when they’re on the stage whereas Allen just occupies it in respectable fashion.  I got the sense that Simon Cowell felt like America settled for second-best with this one.  And, as is typically the case, I find myself in complete agreement with the grumpy Brit.

Oh, and one more thing.  That song that Kara Dioguardi co-wrote for the finale was atrocious.  And that little thing she did with the bikini girl was lame, though I must admit that she sang very well and looked even better.

Quick Hits

1.  Dear Brett Favre – Let it go, man.  Let it go.  Your work here is done.

2.  I don’t typically involve myself in the personal affairs of celebrities but the Madonna adoption fiasco in Malawi is beyond ridiculous.  Those activists claiming that the little girl she is trying to adopt would be better off with relatives are taking a maddeningly romantic – and irresponsible – view of how the world should work.  Sure, all else being equal, a child should be raised by its own family.  That’s fairly obvious.  However, there are two very important variables here that change the calculus materially.  First, the little girl, whose name is Mercy James, is an orphan in a country with a GDP per capita of $834.  Her mother died during childbirth (at age 14, mind you) and her father is nowhere to be found.  Second, the woman seeking to adopt Mercy happens to be the most successful female recording artist of all time, a distinction that has rewarded her with an estimated net worth of roughly $500 million.  The judge blocking the adoption may think he’s coming from a principled place, but the reality is he’s stripping this child of a future most children can’t even fathom, whether they hail from Malawi or Philadelphia.  Assuming Mercy is required to stay in Malawi, someone should check back with her in ten years or so to see how she’s holding up.  My guess is her quality of life will be less than ideal, meaning this judge will have plenty to answer for in justifying his stubborn stance.  She has every right to hold that decision against him for the rest of her – and his – life.  It’s basically like her winning the lottery and then having the prize withheld on a technicality, like not completing the address section listed on the back of the ticket.

3.  It would appear a foregone conclusion that Justice Souter’s seat on the Supreme Court is going to be filled by a woman, likely of the Hispanic or African American variety.  In other words, males (particularly of the Caucasian variety) need not apply.  This reminds me of how Obama’s Illinois senate seat “needed” to be filled by an African American male, (enter the now infamous Roland Burris) and how Hillary Clinton’s NY senate seat “needed” to be filled by a woman (they even went a step further and picked a blonde-haired, blue-eyed one).  Now, I’m all for diversity.  But I’m not for the manufactured type we commonly refer to as affirmative action.  These jobs, just as all the others in our country, should go to the most qualified, capable people available, regardless of sex or skin color.  Not only does the current system exclude a meaningful portion of the talent pool but it also reinforces a system of reverse discrimination that is shameful in its application.  Discrimination should be unacceptable in whatever form it takes.

4.  What in the world was Danny Gokey thinking with that song last night?  That ending was horrific. Don’t ever go there again, Danny Boy.  Get back to your sweet spot and stick with it.  In other news, I was sad to see Allison go.  That girl has got some pipes and I sure hope she scores a recording contract of her own.  I guess this deep into the competition, any of the remaining contestants will likely do just fine in the music biz going forward.

5.  I watched the Chelsea-Barcelona Champs League semifinal this morning.  What a great game.  Two heavyweights going head-to-head with the stakes higher than ever.  After Essien’s brilliant strike in the 9th minute, it appeared Chelsea was well on its way to a showdown with Premiership rival Manchester United later this month in Rome.  However, despite being down to ten men, Andres Iniesta burried a drive from just outside the box three minutes into injury time, shocking the hometown Blues and everyone watching.  The strike gave Barcelona the edge in the series’ tiebreaker, sending The Catalans through for what should be an exciting final.  Unfortunately, the game was mired by horrendous officiating.  The main referee, Tom Ovrebo, put on a show that I would rank among the worst I have ever seen.  The guy missed at least five penlaty kicks – most of which would’ve gone to Chelsea – and he handed out a red card or two that stemmed from phantom fouls.  Speaking of cards, UEFA should institute a new rule that would allow teams to field their full squads for the Champs League final.  That is, all cards leading up to the final match should be wiped out.  This is the match that is supposed to pit the two finest football clubs on the planet.  The least the viewing public can expect to see is two teams operating at full speed.  Instead, we’ve got teams that are missing key ingredients thanks to the wims of mistake-prone officials.  For example, Barcelona’s Dani Alves, a magnificent player who happened to put on a terrible show at Chelsea, is going to miss the championship match thanks to yellow card accumulation.  The guy is admittedly a bit of a hothead and was playing more than a bit off-kilter but to ban him from the final is a disservice to the sport and its fans.

Danny Gokey Versus Rascal Flatts

As I spiral deeper into my shameless obsession with American Idol, I’ve decided that I can’t get enough of Danny Gokey.  The man’s got an incredible voice and an inspirational personal story that has deservedly made him a fan favorite.  On pipes alone, he deserves to be among the top two standing at the end, something with which Simon Cowell agrees.

As evidence of how good this dude is, listen to the following two versions of “What Hurts The Most”, a very good song by the country group, Rascal Flatts.

Here’s the original version:

And here’s Gokey’s version:

You can’t tell me that Gokey’s version isn’t leagues better than the original!  And I certainly mean no disrespect to Rascal Flatts, as I think they’re great and consider myself a fan.  Rather, I’m more impressed with the powerful voice of Gokey, which blows the wheels off that song.

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