On Marathons, the World Series, the Ritz-Carlton, Steve Jobs, and Drive

These past few weeks have been pretty hectic. A marathon, a heartbreaking World Series, three weeks of overseas travel, and general holiday malaise combined with downright laziness to help explain Eddyfication’s slumber. However, I’ve been itching to get back on the blogging horse for too long and a recent movie viewing spurred me to finally re-engage. Before I go into that, a couple of events deserve recounting.

First, this year’s Chicago Marathon. Despite coming down with a nasty cold two days prior, I managed to finish in 3 hours and 50 minutes, which was 20 minutes off my target pace. It was good enough to place me in the 18th percentile among all runners and 24th percentile among my cohort (males in their early 30′s). I coughed up my fair share of mucous along the way but it was the final 4-5 miles that really crushed me.  Apparently, those salt pills that I scoffed at were recommended for a reason, as the twelve pounds of banana that I consumed along the way didn’t do enough to ward off some pretty killer cramps during the home stretch.  I had to pull over to stretch away a spasm probably 15-20x during the last several miles.  And I’m pretty sure I ran the final two miles without ever actually bending my right leg for fear of inviting yet another bout of jaw-clenching misery.  But for the fact that I was surrounded by similarly-situated maniacs also on the verge of total collapse, I would’ve worried that I looked like a complete imbecile as I made my way towards the finish.  And serving as a testament to the human body’s potential, I somehow managed to sprint the final 400 meters (or at least that’s what it felt like I was doing).  As I was gliding to the finish, I was passed by another runner whose own burst of energy quite clearly surpassed my own.  However, the poor guy stumbled exhaustedly as he crossed the finish line, clumsily trying to grab anything around him for support as he collapsed in a tired heap.  Luckily, I mustered a semi-normal fist pump as I crossed the finish line and have managed to convince myself that I appeared none the worse for wear.  As if I needed reminding that the human body isn’t built for such feats, being surrounded at the finish station by a sea of EMTs and horizontal bodies either writhing in agony or completely catatonic provided a quick reality check.  Us humans are simply not meant to run 26.2 miles nonstop; therefore, not only was this my first marathon but it will also mark my last.  My bucket list has been checked.  Moving on.

Second, I got to suffer through yet another World Series loss for my hometown Texas Rangers.  At least last year the Rangers were pretty much out of it from the start against the Giants.  This year, however, we were literally one out away from a championship not once but twice and still couldn’t pull it off in the end.  I knew right when Freese performed his Game 6 heroics that the Rangers didn’t stand a chance in Game 7.  It was the type of momentum swing that doomed infamous Game 6′s of yesteryear, including the Boston Red Sox in 1986 (Billy Buckner) and the Chicago Cubs in 2003 (Steve Bartman).  I just knew the Rangers would fall flat in Game 7.  And sure enough they did.  While it’s certainly quite the accomplishment to make it to the World Series in back-to-back years, losing both times dulls the magnitude of such a feat.  I’m afraid I’m stuck with teams (like the Fighting Irish and Dallas Cowboys) that simply lack the fortitude to win consistently, especially when winning calls for showing up big in big games and making plays in crunch time.  Now excuse me while I take a break from my armchair complaining to grab another beer.

By the way, I attended Game 2 of the Series, which was pretty damn cool.  I drove down to St. Louis from Chicago with my little brother, a trip that helped me appreciate the dangers that lie hidden in the “ultimate driving experience”.  Not accustomed to opening my car up on the open road, I routinely eclipsed 100 mph without even noticing it.  (This is where the smooth driving experience that the Germans manufacture can very well spell doom.)  We stayed at the Hyatt Regency St. Louis, which is located right next to the Gateway Arch and a mere ten-minute walk from Busch Stadium.  The stadium was quite nice, a decent mix of new and old that managed to retain its classic feel.  The game itself was a defensive struggle, a nail-biter that saw the Rangers pull one out with some scrappy play in the 9th inning, providing me with the unique opportunity to annoyingly cheer on my winning team while surrounded by a sea of enemies.  Among the observations to be made during the game was the unexpected civility of the crowd, which took me by surprise until I reminded myself that we were at the World Friggin’ Series, where price discrimination self-selects a certain type of obedience among those with the means to actually attend the game in person.

Third, my travels out East were mostly par for the course.  Hong Kong was its usual hyper-consumptive and buzzy self, and my first visit to Tokyo was met with equal parts nostalgia and melancholy.  It was great to see old buds and reminisce by visiting some of our old spots.  But it was strange to be there without the full crew of friends and family.  And though Tokyo remains an awesome city with unmistakable style, I detected a sense of loss that pervaded everything around me.  Maybe it was the distinct lack of expat sightings and/or the disappearance of certain standbys (our grocery store, our Citibank ATM, etc.).  Whatever it was, something felt off.  That said, Tokyo remains as incomparable as ever.  It was great to be back and I look forward to my eventual return.

A couple of things stand out about my trip.  First, thanks to certain discounts, I had the occasion to stay at the new Ritz-Carlton Hong Kong (across the harbour in Kowloon) as well as the Ritz-Carlton Tokyo.  Having spent a solid three weeks in these hotels, I can solidly proclaim that I hate the Ritz-Carlton.  I’m guessing this only applies to the international variety, as the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel is among my sentimental favorites.  But the Hong Kong and Tokyo versions are disappointing on multiple levels.  In Hong Kong, for example, you’ve got over-the-top kitschy in terms of decor and the software doesn’t match the hardware (i.e., the service offers nowhere near the polish of the structure itself).  Plus, the hotel managed to completely botch the distinction of having Asia’s highest bar (Ozone on the 118th floor), with views of Central obscured by thick plexiglass and other random objects.  The Tokyo version is exquisite in its service, location, and overall touch, but the style and ambiance don’t mesh with my own sensitivities.  It feels old and stuffy.  The lounge might very well be the most boring one in Asia and the fact that they charge $30 for admission (an invitation to complete and utter boredom) is criminal.  The place has zero vibe and the restaurants offer the unfortunate combination of mediocre taste and stratospheric expense.  It’s basically the anti-Grand Hyatt, which is just a few blocks away and worlds better in virtually every respect.

Second, I got to pass the time alone on weekends and on various bullet trains by absorbing Walter Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs.  At over 600 pages, it’s a rather long read but one befitting its subject.  Jobs was the foremost innovator of his generation and our world will miss his vision with a vengeance, a reality made clearer by digesting Jobs’ story.  Though good on balance, the book itself was slightly disappointing.  Isaacson glossed over a lot of competitive strategy dynamics that I would’ve like to see pursued and the work’s second half had a rushed feel to it.  That said, I still gained plenty of insight into the man and his company, enough to warrant my reading of the book a worthy pursuit.  Among the things I learned: 1) Like many geniuses, Jobs was a difficult man and tortured soul whose treatment of those around him ranged from disdain to infatuation to disinterest; 2) Jobs’ genius lay not as much in his technical know-how as in his vision for what consumers wanted before they even knew it; 3) Extreme attention to detail and slight-to-moderate levels of OCD can sometimes be a good thing for one’s professional life; 4) Jobs led a life full of contradictions, especially as it related to his Eastern spirituality and many mood swings, which made me feel better about my own inconsistencies; and 5) Jobs’ vision was all-encompassing, making him a sight to behold and a visionary in the truest sense of the word, which did a wonderful job of reminding me of my own mediocrity.  In slightly related news, I actually found myself seated near Walter Isaacson while waiting in the United Airlines lounge at Narita Airport.  He was literally sitting fifteen feet away from me, so close that I could actually hear his conversation with two Japanese colleagues.  While I contemplated saying hello, I chose instead to give the man his space (especially since I didn’t really love his book!).  What I found most surprising was the fact that he was spotted without an Apple product in sight, choosing instead to use a Blackberry and a Dell laptop.  As I tweeted upon the sighting, it was as if some sort of cosmic injustice had occurred.

Unfortunately, the journey home ended up being an eventful one, which is never a good way to describe a transcontinental flight.  Luckily, the events had more to do with the passengers than the plane itself, which is very much a good thing.  Being seated in the upper deck of a 747, I heard the overwrought grumbling of a passenger making his way up the stairs as we took to our seats upon boarding.  As he emerged from the stairs and made the turn down the aisle, I caught a solid glimpse of a man overburdened by three large carry-on bags and overcome by the effects of alcohol.  Hammered is an understatement when it comes to describing this man’s condition.  As he stumbled to his seat, flight attendants were scurrying about in an effort to assist the man with his overall situation as well as determine whether or not he was flight-worthy (wondering: what’s the air equivalent of sea legs?).  It just so happened that this winner was traveling with his wife, who I overheard claiming to be a medical doctor traveling with a husband under the influence of a sedative and “not a lick” of alcohol.  Sure thing.  The airline authorities took her story hook-line-and-sinker while the rest of us knowingly rolled our eyes at each other, assuming the worst was yet to come.  Sure as shit, just as our bird began her ascent, an awful stench slowly began to permeate the upper deck cabin and the air soon wreaked of puke.  This elicited at least one gag reflex moment from yours truly, prompting me to surf the plane’s movie selection with my shirt pulled above my nose.  Once the seatbelt sign was turned off, there was plenty of fumbling among the cabin crew and the passed-out misfit’s wife as they attempted to clean him up with plastic bags that I assume were made for the occasion.  The smell eventually abated only to be punctuated by two more puking sessions before we landed.  And I forgot to note that the guy was seated directly behind me.  This led me to a new rule: Anyone puking on a flight for reasons demonstrably attributable to alcohol should be forced to pay a $100 fine to each of the surrounding passengers within a 20-foot radius.  The airline shouldn’t take the blame as it’s quite clearly not to blame for the doofusness of its own passengers.  But the buffoon infringing on the experience of others should absolutely be penalized.

Of course, I got the chance to watch a number of films during my flights and lazy days at home.  What follows below is a breakdown of those movies, listed in no particular order:

  1. Horrible Bosses: Mostly mediocre but kinda fun. Jason Bateman was great as usual and Jennifer Aniston demonstrated some naughtiness that was pretty awesome but that dude from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia annoyed the hell out of me.
  2. Bridesmaids: Pretty funny but just OK.  Kristen Wiig was great as was Jon Hamm and Melissa McCarthy.  But I thought the whole premise was overblown.
  3. Life in a Day: A wonderfully-edited compilation of user-submitted videos from a random day in July 2010.  Beautifully original and genuine.  Produced by Ridley Scott.
  4. The Hangover Part II: Standard, mostly predictable fun that was surprisingly lame in spots.  Yet it was enjoyable all the same.  For whatever reason, I found Zach Galifianakis much funnier this time around.
  5. The Tree of Life: Brad Pitt and Sean Penn starred in this Terrence Malick production, so I figured it had to be halfway decent.  Instead, I forced myself to sit through two hours of total cluelessness (easier to do when you’re on a 15-hour flight).  I’m told Malick is a directorial genius but it’s totally lost on me.  Complete and utter WTF confusion on my part.  I have no idea what this movie was about.  A Seth Macfarlane tweet summed the film up perfectly: “My brother died. Plus, dinosaurs.”
  6. Forks Over Knives: Interesting material but poorly executed.  Still did enough to continue pushing me in the direction of a plant-based diet.
  7. Margin Call: Yet another attempt to explain the financial crisis of 2008 but this time with an impressive ensemble cast and a more informed script than most.  I liked this better than I thought I would (even though jetlag had me drifting in and out).  More even-handed than I expected and it did a particularly good job at humanizing the “other” side of the crisis (that of Wall Street).
  8. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop: This documentary follows Conan O’Brien during his NBC-imposed one-year moratorium from television.  O’Brien’s forced time off spawned his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour, a traveling comedy show that made stops in 30 cities.  Being a fan of Conan, I generally enjoyed the peek behind the curtain.  However, loyal readers know that I was none too pleased with his behavior during the NBC ordeal, so I was only able to enjoy this movie so much.

The final movie that I’ll highlight is Drive.  Starring Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan, it’s the story of an unnamed mechanic/stunt car driver/getaway car driver who is a man of few words.  He befriends a neighbor who is a single mother (the husband is in jail) and who also happens to be of few words.  Naturally, they’re surrounded by people who are of many words and therefore seem less wholesome than they.  I spent the first part of the movie absorbing the blows of boring, predictable cheesiness because: 1) it had a Tarantinoesque art house feel to it; and 2) I knew the tone would eventually turn on a dime (thanks to some light reading on the movie beforehand).  Sure enough, it did.  And as I reflect on the film I realize more and more that I really liked it.  This will no doubt make those who watched it with me roll their eyes (I think I’m quoting Lizzi here when I say it was one of the worst movies she’s ever seen).  But the further I get away from it, the more the movie resonates.  The film’s Danish director, Nicolas Winding Refn, won Best Director honors at Cannes and even received a standing ovation, which I’m left to assume is a rare treat that must mean it was a good piece of work (granted, Cannes also gave the famed Palme d’Or to The Tree of Life, so there goes that theory).  In any event, this is one of those movies that leaves its mark in indescribable ways.  In terms of texture, style, and music, it felt to me like a weird combination of Grindhouse, Requiem for a Dream, and Punch Drunk Love.  I won’t be able to do the movie justice, so I’ll lean instead on the expertise of A.O. Scott of the NY Times, who describes Drive as the “coolest movie around”, and Peter Travers of Rolling Stone, who had this to say:

Buckle up for the existential bloodbath of Drive, a brilliant piece of nasty business that races on a B-movie track until it switches to the dizzying fuel of undiluted creativity. Damn, it’s good. You can get buzzed just from the fumes coming off this wild thing.

To wrap things up, I’ll leave you with the movie’s signature song, A Real Hero by College, which is perfect for the film as it’s as haunting as it is catchy.

Guy On A Buffalo

The clips below are incredibly funny in a weird and random kind of way.  They are from an obscure 1970s film called Buffalo Rider, which just so happens to be one of the strangest movies I’ve ever come across.  It’s apparently about a dude who rescues a baby buffalo from some coyotes, tames it, and rides adult said buffalo around fighting Indians, saving babies, and grappling with various forms of wildlife (including literally punching a cougar in the face).  The clips are hilarious, thanks mostly to some brilliant music written specifically for them.

Episode 1: Bears, Indians, & Such

Episode 2: Orphans, Cougars, & What Not

Amazingly, there is very little information about this film on the Interwebs, which is a shame because I find myself intrigued by its WTF randomness.  Lucky for us, though, the film can be seen in its entirety for free on YouTube.  Anyone wishing to go down the rabbit hole after some serious imbibing is highly encouraged to give this thing a shot!

h/t Ryan for the intro.

On The Grinds Of Travel And The Delights Of Home

Having spent the better part of three weeks on the road (in London, Hong Kong, and Singapore), I returned yesterday to the delights of home.  My journey home from Singapore followed a great Friday night out with friends that included dinner at Luke’s Oyster Bar and Chop House and drinks at some bar on Club Street whose primary differentiating feature was a wall full of random mix tapes.  After toying with the notion of playing through until my 4 AM departure for the airport, I decided instead to head back to the hotel for a power nap at around 1 AM.  I awoke at 3:30 AM to groggily begin my 20+ hour journey home.

After being asked to show my boarding pass on (literally) six different occasions while making my way to the gate at Changi, our United 747 pushed back at 6 AM and we were touching down in Hong Kong for our connection to Chicago about 3.5 hours of interrupted sleep later (being seated next to the galley is the kiss of death for the road-weary traveler).  Our layover was theoretically scheduled for a very manageable two hours.  However, once we boarded, we found ourselves sitting at the gate well past our scheduled push-back time.  Turns out the flight was being held up for a connecting passenger.  I can understand why this should happen (putting myself in the shoes of that wayward traveler); however, as our delay worked on the one-hour mark, I became rather perturbed.  If we were waiting for a group of travelers, that’s one thing.  But the announcements made it sound like we were being held up for just one person.  I looked it up and this particular flight (on a Boeing 747-400) had a seating capacity of 374.  And since this was a sold out flight, 373 eager passengers – many of whom were due to connect to myriad flights of their own upon reaching Chicago – were being held up by just one individual.  I’m not sure how these decisions are made by the airlines – and I appreciate the difficulty of managing such complex systems – but this particular practice could surely use a revisit.  Especially since the passenger in question never even arrived, causing our flight to be further delayed as the person’s bags were removed!

Once airborne, I used the 14.5 hour flight to take in a movie (the predictably mediocre Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides), sleep intermittently for about eight hours (this flight was an especially bumpy one), read Haruki Murakami’s What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (which provided motivation for my upcoming marathon as well as fuel my dreams of becoming a writer someday), and watch a couple episodes of MTV’s Challenge: Rivals (one of the greatest reality franchises around).  I finally arrived in Chicago around 3 PM on Saturday and was greeted by my two ladies who happily drove me home with the moonroof open on a gorgeous Fall day.  Once home, I flirted with the idea of a run only to succumb to the comforts of the man cave, where I happily took in a much-need Irish victory over Michigan State.  I then caught up on Curb Your Enthusiasm (this season is superb) before drifting off to sleep to the sounds of the Florida State-Oklahoma game.  Bliss.

I awoke this morning around 6 AM to the beeping of our carbon monoxide alarm (no worries, just a unit error), which was fine since I’m jet-lagged anyway.  I relaxed with a coffee, bagel, the news, and Sportscenter before nailing a 13-miler at a 7 minute 37 second per mile clip.  These past few weeks have surely set my training back.  But the clip on this morning’s run was my second-best and I felt pretty good doing it, so I have no idea what to make of anything when it comes to all this training stuff.

I just watched Manchester United lay waste to Chelsea (thanks in large part to some monumental brain farts by Fernando Torres).  And now I’ll saddle up with a collection of newspapers and magazines that have piled up in my absence while watching the Bears game.  Following that, I’ll saunter on down to the Houndstooth Saloon, which is a mere two blocks away and just so happens to be a Dallas Cowboys bar.  While I typically don’t advocate day-drinking or drinking on Sundays, I will make an exception today because it just feels like the right thing to do.  Ah, the delights of being home!

No Joy

This is a pretty cool/disturbing/sad short film by a filmmaker named Mike Petty about an old, abandoned amusement park in Kansas.  A metaphor for our country, perhaps?

Apocalyptic Apologies

I’ve been meaning to update this here blog for the better part of three weeks.  For reasons having to do with schedule, inspiration, and downright laziness (let’s be honest), I simply couldn’t be bothered. Whatever the case, my apologies to the twelve of you out there who check this site religiously for updates.  To take the great Sperminator’s famous quote to my own conclusion, I won’t be back – I am back!

Why now to make my much-anticipated comeback, you ask?  Well, lucky for us, fate arrived in the form of Harold Camping to awake me from my blogging slumber.  Those of you who know me will not be surprised that I couldn’t let a Bible-based prediction of the end times go without mention.  I don’t really have much to add to the already massive wave of popular backlash against this guy and his silly (and expensive) campaign to notify everyone of the impending rapture (May 21) and subsequent end of the world (sometime in October).  However, I did have fun contemplating the logistical clusterfuck that must involve gathering a couple billion “saved” souls and shepherding them to heaven.  Can you imagine?  All the cases of mistaken identity, getting everyone gathered and processed in a reasonable amount of time (here’s hoping the angels in charge took a course in Operations Management at Chicago Booth), and transporting everyone to the magical beyond.  Plus, what happens if – as in the case of a friend – people are on airplanes or otherwise unreachable.  What’s gonna happen to them?  My head hurts just thinking about it.

I’m guessing god saw the new ad campaign for Christopher Nolan’s third – and final – Batman installation and decided to hold off a bit.  That Bane character (below) looks like a total badass.  And the music is sick and creepy in a very good way.  I’m certain it will be worth waiting for.

It’s 6:45 CST and Mr. Camping’s prediction called for the rapture to commence at 6 PM on the west coast.  So I suppose the old man still has a shot at redemption (pun intended).  In which case – ever the hedger – I’d like to point out to god that I was just kidding with all that atheist stuff.  Though I had no rational reason to believe that he actually existed and that his “son” wasn’t just another in a long line of religious nuts/manipulative charlatans, I had faith nonetheless.  Just like Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Mormons, I believed!

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen

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Note To Self: Don’t Pick A Fight In Kentucky While Sporting A Beard

Just in case you missed it, we were recently treated to one of the greatest stories of the year, which was accompanied by a quote that I find equal parts hilarious and disconcerting:

One thing led to another, and before I knowed it, there was knives, and guns . . . ever’thing just went haywire…they cut my beard…and forced me to eat it.

Is anyone else envisioning a redneck reenactment of the fight scene from Anchorman?

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The United States Of Movies

A fun rundown of notable movies filmed in each state:

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On Harlem Charter Schools, Vanishing Typhoons, and Other Incongruities

Having just returned from another whirlwind trip to Singapore and Hong Kong, I’m now happily ensconced back in Tokyo.  Of course, Typhoon Megi could’ve spoiled that, but what was threatening to be a canceled flight turned out to be the smoothest Hong Kong-Tokyo leg I’ve ever had.  Now back in my blogging lair, I can catch up on a few things that caught my eye over the past week or so.

On Larry King Live the other night was a show dedicated to the issue of gay bullying and what we can do to minimize its occurrence and effects.  A good cause, to be sure, but I was a bit confused by the show’s participants.  Lance Bass, Tim Gunn, and Nate Berkus?  They made sense.  Wanda Sykes and Kathy Griffin?  Not so much.  I don’t intend to pass judgment on their own experiences with being bullied, and I certainly applaud their support of an issue in great need of it.  However, it struck me as odd how two comedians whose job is largely comprised of ripping on others – sometimes, in less than tasteful ways – are invited on a show to describe how hurtful bullying can be.  Huh?

I read an article somewhere along the way that talked about how school districts are having to lay off hundreds of thousands of teachers because of their states’ massive fiscal challenges.  It reminded me of a commencement speech President Obama gave at Wesleyan in 2008, which basically served as an advertisement for public service.  In it, he admonished the idea of selfishly pursuing personal ends on Wall Street and urged everyone to instead do things for the good of the collective, like teach.  Quoting:

…we need an army of you to become teachers and principals in schools that this nation cannot afford to give up on. I will pay our educators what they deserve, and give them more support…

Meanwhile, Wall Street has been on a hiring binge for most of this year.  And the more money Wall Street makes, the more taxes it pays.  And the more people it hires, the more taxes they pay.  Among other things, those taxes are used to pay for our schools (most of them, at least).  Plus, those lucky enough to be highly successful in pursuing “selfish” ends very often supplement their forced donations to state and federal treasuries with personal charitable contributions targeted specifically at improving education in our country.  It goes without saying that teaching is one of the most honorable and important professions around.  But I find it interesting how many liberals – particularly those in leadership today – spend so much time demeaning the very success that makes funding of our public services possible in the first place.  I’m just sayin’…

Speaking of the horrendous state of American education, I watched a documentary called The Lottery on the flight yesterday.  Superbly done, it chronicles the experience of four Harlem families desperate to secure spots for their children in one of the city’s charter school lotteries.  This was a heartbreaking and illuminating film on multiple levels.  When it came to the kids, I wanted to jump through the screen and wrestle their roadblocks to the ground.  And when it came to the work of charter schools, particularly that of the Harlem Success Academy, my faith in their efforts did nothing but grow. (By the way, I had the exact opposite response when it came to the teachers union).  Among the impressive cast of thought leaders featured in the film, including Newark Mayor Cory Booker and Geoffrey Canada of Harlem Children’s Zone, I was most enthralled with the movie’s protagonist, Eva Moskowitz.  The CEO of Harlem Success Academy, Ms. Moskowitz is a force, and to say she’s fighting the good fight would be an understatement.  Articulate and savvy, she has taken the failure of Harlem’s public schools as a personal call to duty, and her leadership is a sight to behold.  Facing angry throngs of ill-informed parents, as well as corrupt and inept community “leaders”, she bravely navigates a minefield of special interests and misinformation for the greater good.  Her conviction and thoughtfulness is awe-inspiring, and I’m ever so thankful that people like her exist in this world.  Bravo, Ms. Moskowitz.  This is the sound of me clapping.

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No Stranger To Heartache

I was recently told a story about a friend of a friend and it went something like this: A guy is at a bar with his buddies and suddenly realizes that he desperately needs to take a dump.  As is typical, he’s reluctant to do so but is egged on by his mates to just suck it up and git ‘er done.  So he wanders off in search of porcelain relief.  Twenty minutes later, his buddies begin wondering aloud about the whereabouts of their bowel-minded friend.  Then, as if on cue, he returns in a rather disheveled state.  With his nose bloodied and puke covering his shirt, he desperately asks his friends, “Did you see that guy!?”.  ”What guy?”, his friends ask.  ”Dude, I was sitting in the stall doing my thing and all of a sudden, some guy came crashing in, puked all over me, and then punched me in the face!”.  I’m told the story was met with a brief moment of shocked silence followed by a hearty round of uproarious laughter.  While the typical bar-going male response would’ve been to dutifully hunt down the perp and defend their friend’s honor, the absolute oddity of the situation called for hysterical reflection rather than confrontation.  With someone being so drunk as to need to barge in on an occupied stall to release the hounds, and then being so disoriented that the only reasonable response he could muster was to punch that person in the face – how could you not laugh at the absurdity of it all?

I relay the above story – which may or may not be true – because I think it perfectly illustrates the experience of ND football this year.  The frustratingly ineffective Weis regime came to a sad but necessary end last year, and in strode Brian Kelly to relieve the overwhelming sense of gloom and doom that had come to characterize Irish fandom.  To make that analogy fit, the Kelly transition theoretically marked the relief that typically accompanies an emergency visit to a bar’s bathroom.  After a clumsy win against Purdue, ND lost back-to-back heartbreakers to Michigan and Michigan State.  During that two-game span, the Irish were overcome by a series of strange yet typically unlucky developments.  These included: QB Dayne Crist missing most of the first half against Michigan because he couldn’t see out of his right eye (I bet that was the first instance of such an injury in the history of college football); the sure-handed Michael Floyd committing two momentum-altering fumbles; Denard Robinson exploding for 500 total yards all by his lonesome; myriad drops and miscommunication throughout the Irish skill positions; ND getting called for phantom holds and crucial yet non-existent blocks in the back (see Lo Wood versus MSU); opposing wide receivers running out of bounds and then back in to score illegal touchdowns; and a game-winning play being allowed to occur despite the play clock having run down to zero (see picture above).  Let’s chalk those two very winnable losses up to the equivalent of a team getting puked on.  (Stay with me).

Then Stanford comes in this past weekend and totally manhandles the Irish.  Jim Harbaugh’s bunch dominated that game in every respect.  Their players were bigger, stronger, faster, hungrier.  The Cardinal level of dominance was so high that a metaphorical punch in the face might not do it justice.  A more fitting analogy would involve the Irish collapsing in a heap of pain following a flurry of well-placed jabs that were topped off with an impossible – yet very fun to imagine – whopper of an upper cut and roundhouse kick to the temple that left ND splayed across the canvas, only to be followed by a dazed scramble for the bloody mouthpiece that was launched ten feet across the ring once that crucial blow was delivered.  But for the purpose of my original analogy, let’s just say the Stanford game was most definitely the punch that punctuated an amazingly unfortunate confluence of events.

So here the Irish sit with one win and three losses.  Some solace can be taken from the fact that those three losses came against teams that are a combined 12-0 on the season.  But the fact remains that this team is just not that good.  I’m not smart enough to diagnose what it is that ails the Irish.  But having lived and mostly died Irish football for the better part of the past 25 years, here’s what I do know:  With a few notable exceptions, ND plays slow and it plays soft.  It lacks the athleticism, heart, and intensity that most of its opponents bring to bear each week.  Its defensive line play has been brutal; its outside linebackers appear to be lost and playing with cement-filled shoes; its offensive line is incapable of generating a running game; its running backs are slow, indecisive, and look like they’re running scared (save for Armando Allen, who has battled admirably this year); its cornerbacks give way too much cushion, probably because they’re too slow; its punter is woefully ineffective; and its safeties are downright mediocre (though, to their credit, they play damn hard).  Most troublesome is that Dayne Crist sometimes takes on the dreaded “deer-in-the-headlights” look, and poor Brian Kelly looks like he’s on the business end of a proctologist’s finger when the cameras pan to him on the Irish sideline.

On the positive side, walk-on kicker David Ruffer has been superb.  Freshman Tai-ler Jones looks like the real deal and Theo Riddick seems to be adjusting to his new position rather well.  The middle linebacking corps looks solid with the emergence of Carlo Calabrese and the monstrous Manti Te’o, who as a sophomore is a complete man-child.  The Hawaiian headhunter had 21 tackles against the Cardinal on Saturday, including a couple of bone-crunching hits on one drive where he appeared to be the only Irish player awake enough to make any plays.  He is every bit of the 5-star talent that he was labeled coming in.  It’s just unfortunate that he’s mired in the mediocrity that has come to define the modern-day Irish.

Speaking of stars, I have no idea what to make of the fact that the Irish consistently lose to teams with inferior talent (at least judging by the recruiting rankings).  Is this because the true talent pool is limited in its overall athleticism because of the academic rigor of the institution?  One would think the Stanford experience would dispel such a notion.  Or maybe it’s because past coaching staffs have been incapable of developing that talent?  Whatever the case, it’s weird.

The above being said, I can’t help but continue to support the Irish.  Let’s face it – if this were about winning, I would’ve given up around the time Lou Holtz was shown the door.  Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment.  (I am, after all, an adopted Cubs fan).  But I just can’t bring myself to give up.  Not now, not ever.  I will always cheer for the Irish and defend them to the leagues of haters that I come across in life (and there are lots of them!).  And if there’s any reason for hope, one has to believe that Brian Kelly has the experience and judgment to turn this thing around.  All he needs is time to get his players in and his system installed.  In the meantime, however, what I’ve grown to appreciate is that much of life is about managing expectations.  And in that sense, I’m sad to report that a corner was turned on Saturday, one that will now see me go into every weekend expecting ND to lose.  I’ll always hope against hope that they’ll win, but deep down I’ll very much expect them to lose.  It’s kinda like what happened with M. Night Shyamalan: despite the atrociousness of his recent work, I just can’t help but assume that one day he’ll return to his early form.  But for now, only one refrain will ease the pain of this season: wait ’til next year!

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Thom Yorke Won’t Let Me Study

I woke up this morning humming the tune of Radiohead’s “Sulk”.  I have no idea how the song got in my head.  All I know it that it’s from the band’s very splendid album The Bends, which I haven’t listened to in months.  So as I pondered which background music would accompany my afternoon of studying (I’ve got yet another securities exam on Wednesday), I decided to stick with the day’s theme and give Radiohead’s incomparable Kid A another listen.  I figured the album’s dark undertones would perfectly complement my mood.  And why not listen to one of the greatest albums of the last decade while incurring yet more finance-related brain damage?

As is often the case, I was easily distracted during my Yorke-inspired study session, and my first daydream was sparked while taking in the song “How To Completely Disappear” (sadly, that’s track number four on the album, so I didn’t make it far before getting sidetracked).  This song is one of the more hauntingly beautiful tunes I’ve ever heard.  And every time I give it a listen, I’m strangely yet inevitably overcome by the unsettling thought that this would be precisely the song that I would play if I ever decided to kill myself.  Yeah, I know.  That’s pretty weird.  But it’s exactly what I think about each time I hear it.  I just can’t help my twisted self!

Naturally, this got me thinking about the entire album and how brilliantly manic it is.  Which, of course, led me to another tangent, this time recalling Chuck Klosterman’s crazy-but-super-cool theory about how Thom Yorke may have managed to predict the attacks of September 11th with Kid A.  For those curious about the theory, or simply interested in some great writing about all things music and pop culture, I highly recommend that you give his book Killing Yourself To Live a read.  For those not so keen, here’s a taste of where he went with his theory in the book:

The first song on Kid A paints the Manhattan skyline at 8:00 A.M. on Tuesday morning; the song is titled “Everything in Its Right Place.” People woke up that day “sucking on a lemon,” because that’s what life normally feels like on the Manhattan subway; the city is a beautiful, sour, sarcastic place. We soon move onto song two, which is the title track. It is the sound of woozy, ephemeral normalcy. It is the sound of Jonny Greenwood playing an Ondes Martenot, an instrument best remembered for its use in the Star Trek theme song. You can imagine humans walking to work, riding elevators, getting off the C train and the 3 train, and thinking about a future that will be a lot like the present, only better. The term KID A is Yorke’s moniker for the first cloned human, which he (only half jokingly) suspects may already exist. The consciously misguided message is this: Science is the answer. Technology solves everything, because technology is invulnerable. And this is what almost everyone in America thought around 8:30 A.M. But something happens three and a half minutes into “Kid A”. It suddenly doesn’t feel right, and you don’t exactly know why. This is followed by track three, “The National Anthem”

This is when the first plane slams into the north tower at 470 mph.

“The National Anthem” sounds a bit like a Morphine song. It’s a completley different direction from the first two songs on KID A, and it’s confusing; it’s chaotic. “What’s going on?,” the lyrics ask. “What’s going on?” It gets crazier and crazier, until the second plane hits the second tower (at 9:03 A.M. in reality and at 3:42 in the song). For a moment, things are somber. But then it gets more anarchic. (Reader’s Note: You might want to consider playing KID A right about now, since I’m not always so good at explaining shit like this). Which leads into track four, “How to Disappear Completely.” This is the point where it feels like the world is possibly ending. People try to convince themselves that they are not there. People keep repeating: “This isn’t happening”. People are “floating” (read: falling) to the earth. We are told of strobe lights and blown speakers; there are fireworks and hurricanes. This is a song about being burned alive and jumping out of windows, and this is a song about having to watch those things happen. And it’s followed by an instrumental piece without melody (“Treefingers”), because what can you say when skyscrapers collapse? All you can do is stare at them with your hand over your mouth.

Time passes. It’s afternoon. KID A’s side two, if you have it on vinyl. Action is replaced by thought. The song is “Optimistic, ” a word that becomes more meaningful in its absence. It has lyrics about Ground Zero (“vultures circle the dead”), and it offers a glimpse into how Al Qaeda members think Americans perceive international diplomacy (“the big fish eat the little ones, the big fish eat the little ones/Not my problem, give me some”). Track seven, “In Limbo” is about how the United States has been shaken out of its fantasy, with “nowhere to hide,” finding only “trap doors that open, I spiral down”……

Pretty crazy/cool/weird, eh?  This is the type of stuff that I’d rather have occupy my mind.  Not the various methods used to benchmark the performance of private equity funds.  By the way, speaking of the song “Optimistic”, it’s got a really cool ending.  I love songs whose endings either turn super intense or go off on random but totally awesome tangents.  The grandest example of this is the piano exit of Derek and the Dominos’ Layla, used to perfection by Martin Scorsese in Goodfellas.  Beyond “Optimistic”, Radiohead has a couple more gems of this genre, including the aforementioned “Sulk” as well as “Black Star” and “Fake Plastic Trees”.

Ugh…I could go on but the fun must end here.  Having tackled the nuances of private equity, the agenda now calls for a visit to the wild world of commodities.  And away…we…go.

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Not Afraid

Here’s a pretty simple rule that one should always follow:  One’s public persona must be remotely close to how they are in real life.  For example, David Vitter can’t run on a family values platform to finagle a Senate seat while spending his free time cavorting with prostitutes.  To be clear, I could care less whether someone enjoys the company of hired help, just don’t shape your public profile around the notion that you despise such behavior.  And you can’t be a co-founder of the massively conservative – and homophobic – Family Research Council and choose to spend your vacation in Europe with a male prostitute found on the website Rentboy.com.  Again, I could care less if someone is homosexual, so long as their day job isn’t comprised of discriminating against folks of that very persuasion.

I guess what I’m saying is you should practice what you preach.  But it’s actually more than that.  You see, what got me on to this rant was seeing a picture of Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem) while perusing iTunes today (by the way, I downloaded the new Broken Social Scene and I approve).  There was Eminem sitting atop the best-selling singles list with his song Not Afraid, looking back at me with his typical menacing stare.  And I got to thinking – is he really so tough?  I mean, the guy’s appearance doesn’t rate highly on the intimidation scale.  And if we’re being honest, the dude’s physicality isn’t one that strikes fear in the hearts of men like a 50 Cent or Suge Knight.  So I did a little research on the Internet-s and discovered an interesting little tidbit about Mr. Mathers.

Here’s a related – and loaded – question: Who do you think would win in a fight between Eminem and Ben Stiller?  No weapons, no posses.  Just Eminem and Ben Stiller straight up.  We all know Stiller to be a rather diminutive, fun-loving jokester while Eminem likes to tell us how brutally hardcore he is.  Meanwhile, both men are 5′ 8″ (at least according to some spot research online).  And judging by Eminem’s physique, I’d venture to guess that he weighs no more than 160 pounds soaking wet, which leads me to believe that Stiller is stronger on a pound-for-pound basis (have you seen his guns in Tropical Thunder?).

So my vote is for Stiller – and I’m 100% serious.  And so I proclaim the following: I cannot take seriously any hardcore gangsta rapper who I’m fairly convinced would lose to Ben Stiller in a fight.  Same for you, Lil Wayne, who at 5’5″ is, in a word, lil (and sitting eye-to-eye with Woody Allen).  At 6′ 3″, Jay Z can rap away looking as tough as he wants, as can Flo Rida (6’3″) and The Game (6′ 4″).  But at a skinny 5′ 7″, Ludacris needs to tone it down.

By the way, this isn’t just a height issue.  For example, Timbaland is a pretty stout 5′ 7″ as is Nelly at 5′ 10″, so they get a pass.  There’s simply a balance that needs to be struck in order for one’s tough guy image to gain any sort of legitimacy.  And it’s not just a rap issue either, as my problems with such “perception mismatches” began as early as Scarface, where I simply couldn’t reconcile how a skinny, 5′ 6″ Al Pacino could manage to run roughshod over the Miami drug scene.

Let the record show that I’m not trying to belittle Ben Stiller, of whose work I’m a huge fan.  I used him as an example simply because he’s of fairly small stature and strikes most as one of the least threatening guys around.  And despite my distaste for his antics, I actually consider Eminem to be a wildly talented guy, and I agree with his own assessment that he spits some of the “illest lyrics” around.  It’s just that if I ever found myself stuck in a steel cage death match with Mr. Mathers, the words “not afraid” would best describe my state of mind.

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Shaking Off The Cobwebs

A friend sent me a note the other day lamenting the death of Eddyfication, which he referred to as “the blog who knew too much”.  Being reminded that I once had a blog was revelation enough, but knowing that my silence is robbing my friends – not to mention the whole of humanity – of such an insightful voice (tongue wedged firmly in cheek) was simply too much to bear.

So I’m now officially back in the saddle and hoping rather sincerely that I stay that way for the foreseeable future.  The reality is that I’ve been extremely busy these past six weeks or so.  Between work, school, and various other extracurriculars, I’ve quite simply been preoccupied with a host of more pressing issues (some of which may or may not involve exploding volcanoes and imploding countries).

Indeed, much has happened since we last spoke.  While the EU found itself soaked in Greek debt, I found myself knee-deep in Greeks of another sort; namely, lambdas, alphas, betas, vegas, thetas, and epsilons.  This is partly a school reference, to which I offer the following advice to my readers:  If you ever see me taking a position of operational management at any company on the planet, you should drop everything that instant, raise money for a short-selling fund, and put all of your capital to work shorting the unfortunate company that gave me such authority.  For it is clear that the company itself is a terrible judge of talent, which in itself is a red flag.  Moreover, I will be sure to destroy value in a remarkable way in my new role, resulting in a decent payday for the presciently bearish among us.

We also saw James Cameron get robbed by the academy of a best director award at this year’s Oscars.  While I very much enjoyed The Hurt Locker and could understand why it may be deserving of best picture, the best director snub of Cameron was totally inexcusable.  You can’t spend ten years of your life inventing new technology to totally transform and remake the movie-going experience – and smash box office records with the final product (inflation-adjusted arguments aside) – and not be deemed worthy of the goods by the movie gods.  You just can’t.

And we saw Tiger Woods emerge from his dark pool of remorse to stage a fairly impressive comeback at The Masters.  Of course, he reverted to his usual unpleasant self with a couple of potty-mouthed outbursts during the tournament, which he later addressed by reminding us that he wasn’t perfect (thanks for the heads-up).  Nonetheless, while I’ve never been a fan of Tiger the person, I’m quite happy as an avid sports fan to have one of the planet’s best athletes back in action doing what he does best.  And I wouldn’t be American if I weren’t a sucker for a good comeback story.

Speaking of athletes I suspect are hard to like on a personal level, the Ben Roethlisberger fiasco has been fun to watch.  Not only has it confirmed that guys who look like meatheads typically behave like ones, but it also appears to have elevated the notion that character counts when it comes to team sports.  The most prominent evidence of the Big Ben fallout was the inexplicable decision by the Denver Broncos to draft Tim Tebow in the first round of last week’s NFL draft, well ahead of a more technically capable quarterback in Jimmy Clausen.  Indeed, Clausen had been tabbed by some observers as a top ten talent yet he didn’t go off the board until the Carolina Panthers exercised mercy with the 48th pick.  I’ll forgive for a moment Tebow’s obnoxious religiosity and concede that he strikes me as a good guy: he’s a hard-working, battle-hardened winner that clearly commands the respect of his teammates.  Clausen, on the other hand, is quite clearly a dick, something he announced with a bullhorn when he committed to ND at the College Football Hall of Fame way back when.  Being the diehard Irish fan that I am, I’ve followed closely Clausen’s career and am quite familiar with his childish antics on the field and his overbearing, ever-present family.  I also know that he is one helluva QB and am quite certain he will show well in the NFL.  He has a good arm, is extremely accurate, is a gritty competitor, and has a high football IQ.  Clearly, such potential wasn’t enough when it mattered most (i.e. on payday), something that I suspect relates to questions surrounding Clausen’s maturity and leadership skills.

As a tangent, I wonder if analysts like Todd McShay – who roundly criticized Clausen’s intangibles throughout the pre-draft assessment period – could ever be sued for defamation.  I mean, if Clausen goes on to have a great career as an NFL QB (thus proving McShay wrong), could he go back and sue McShay for influencing NFL managements and causing his draft stock to fall so precipitously, robbing him of tens of millions of dollars in potential earnings?  Hmmm….

Meanwhile, the uninformed and hypocritical masses have set their sights on Goldman (I have no idea what happened and whether anyone is guilty of anything, I just like to marvel at the astounding ignorance demonstrated by the mass media in its coverage of the issue and I wonder when someone will sue the U.S. government for its own Fannie and Freddie shenanigans); Ahmedinejad was recently seen smiling and shaking hands with Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe (birds of a feather…); Sarah Palin is being paid millions of dollars to, of all things, write(!) and speak(!!); Glenn Beck remains as commercial and crazy as ever; MTV has rolled out a new Fresh Meat series; American Idol is in full swing; South Park is at the top of its game; Keith Olbermann is still angry; and everyone’s favorite megalomaniacal midget just torpedoed a South Korean warship (providing a wonderful real-time study in game theory).

I’ve got plenty of material, dear friends!

Movie Expert

The New Yorker just came out with its top ten movies of 2009.  Included among them were three that I saw, two of which I raved about on this here blog.  Here’s what the magazine had to say about the two I liked:

Funny People: Judd Apatow’s intricately woven portrait of a lonely and miserable comic actor (Adam Sandler, playing a nasty version of himself) turns into an examination of the specialness of comics and a funny-mournful lament over their distance from ordinary life. The happy jeers aimed at the movie’s weak box-office performance were a perfect example of how bizarrely values have gone askew for the people who do nothing but count the change.

Adventureland: Greg Mottola’s lovely memory of a misspent summer at a tacky Pittsburgh amusement park in the early eighties. Kristen Stewart turns those eyes on Jesse Eisenberg, a toothless non-vampire, as he struggles toward manhood.

Given that I enjoyed these movies despite their lack of popular appeal, and considering that The New Yorker agreed with me, then it stands to reason that I am a master of the silver screen.  This is good news for Eddyfication readers because you can now tell your friends that you know a movie expert.

Ruminations Of A Commuter

Just got back from a whirlwind trip to NYC and DC, which I’ll blog about in more detail later (hint: it will be entitled How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Phish).  For now, I’m going to share a few insights gleaned from my couple days stateside and from my time spent commuting.

  • Saw a couple movies on my flights, including Public Enemies and Funny People (I also watched Michael Moore’s Capitalism, which deserves its own post).  Public Enemies is about the infamous bank robber John Dillinger (played by Johnny Depp) and his cat-and-mouse game with FBI agent Melvin Purvis (played by Christian Bale).  Considering the headliners and the plot, I had fairly high expectations for this film but was left disappointed with the final product.  While Depp had a decent turn as Dillinger, I thought Bale pretty much sucked as Purvis, and the directing felt strange to me.  Lots of pieces just didn’t seem to fit and there were too many stunted moments for what should’ve been an edge-of-your-seat ride.  I actually liked Marion Cotillard‘s turn as Billie Frechette, Dillinger’s love interest.  However, her French accent was way too overpowering for her to pull off a Wisconsin one, which is turning out to be one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to film and TV entertainment (see the FlashForward post below).  On the other hand, I thought Funny People was fantastic.  Initially, I had no interest in seeing this film, as I’ve had spotty success with past Judd Apatow productions (Knocked Up, Superbad, etc.).  This film, however, was great.  It moved beyond Apatow’s standard slapstick humor and actually went for a more visceral and serious treatment of comedy, told from the point of view of those who practice the art as a profession (i.e. stand-up comedians).  Adam Sandler plays the lead role as a successful but disenchanted comic whose close call with death sends him down various routes of self-exploration.  Taken along for the ride is a budding amateur played by the surprisingly convincing Seth Rogen.  The supporting cast includes Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, Leslie Mann and Aubrey Plaza, each of whom is quite good.  In addition, Eric Bana has a great turn as Mann’s conflicted husband, and we are treated to an onslaught of pretty solid cameos from the likes of Eminem, Ray Romano, Sarah Silverman, and Norm Macdonald, among others.  This is a very good movie.  Though it runs a bit long, it is powered by some solid performances (especially Sandler, who revisits the depths he explored in Punch-Drunk Love) and the writing is equal parts convincing and humorous.  The jokes delivered onstage are fun and the ones delivered as part of the standard character dialogue are even better, especially since they are done in such nonchalant fashion.  See this movie.
  • Unless you’re willing to spend an outrageous amount of money, hotel rooms in NYC pretty much suck.  Small, stinky, and lacking in amenities would seem to be standard fare for anything less than $500 per night.  We stayed at the Hotel 373 near the Empire State Building and would certainly never stay there again.  Our room was ridiculously small, it smelled of mold, the TV was tiny and disproportional (making everyone on the tube appear short and fat), and I’m quite certain that the sheets are not cleaned on a regular basis (plus, housecleaning closes at 4 PM – WTF?!).
  • I took the Acela Express from New York’s Penn Station to DC’s Union Station on Saturday.  This was quite the pleasant experience, especially considering that it took less than three hours to make the trip.  My one complaint would be the lack of wifi access anywhere along the route, something I’m told Acela is soon to address.  Passing through places like Philadelphia, Delaware and Baltimore reminded me of how close together everything is on the eastern seaboard.  Unfortunately, I was also reminded of how substandard our transportation network is in the U.S.  In Japan, the bullet train concept is fully-developed and took hold long ago.  Meanwhile, our access to such transportation in the U.S. is limited to just the Boston-NYC-DC corridor, making me lament yet again the poor state of transportation infrastructure in our country.
  • Speaking of which, we flew out of Washington’s Dulles International Airport on Sunday.  This was my first visit to the airport and I must say that I was very impressed (Lizzi would disagree since we arrived separately for different flights and apparently had much different takeaways).  What I found was an experience colored by very little waiting times at check-in and security, clean corridors, plentiful shopping and restaurants, tons of pleasing, ambient light, and an ANA lounge that connected directly to my plane.  Dulles is now my favorite airport in the U.S.  Of course, this is kinda like winning the world’s tallest midget contest, but still.
  • Though I was only there for a short time, being in DC reminded me of how much I love that city.  I interned there for a summer during undergrad and fell in love with the history that oozes from the city’s pores.  And there’s something romantic about the notion that the city’s buildings are not allowed to exceed the height of the Capitol Building, making everything take on a more intimate feel.  Maybe I’m growing tired of the concrete jungle that is Tokyo?  Whatever the case, I can’t wait to get back to our nation’s capitol for a more involved visit.
  • I got reacquainted with two shows that I previously loved but had taken some time off from: Curb Your Enthusiasm and South Park.  Both shows are great.  Smart, witty, just downright brilliant on so many levels.  Anyone looking for some comedy gold should check out South Park’s Margaritaville episode from season thirteen.  Among the issues tackled are religion, profligacy, government ineptitude, racism, and the financial crisis.  This show has got some serious layers for anyone looking to explore them.  Very good stuff.
  • Among the things I read during the trip were Soccernomics (the soccer version of Freakonomics) and American Sketches (Walter Isaacson’s newest collection of profiles), to go along with a smattering of magazines.  I’ll write more about the books later.  The one magazine article that stood out was The Atlantic’s piece on the prosperity gospel and its possible role in the latest financial crisis.  The article asks the question, “Did Christiantiy Cause the Crash?“, a loaded question if ever there was one.  It’s of course tough to answer with any certainty, but the article at the very least shines an unflattering light on certain elements at play within Christianty and among its practitioners.

Slice Of Awesome

Back In The Saddle

After a rambunctious (and stressful) couple of weeks, I’m finally back in Tokyo and have settled back into my blogging seat.  Lizzi is away for the magical Halloween Phish event, so it’s just Hurley and me for the next week or so. By the way, Phish actually does a cool thing for its Halloween shows, when the band covers an entire album of its choosing.  If you visit its website, you’ll see a list of dozens of albums that have been whittled down one by one over the past several weeks.  As of today, there are only a few left standing, including (among others): Michael Jackson’s Thriller (a timely tribute, perhaps?), Pink Floyd’s The Wall, Led Zeppelin’s self-entitled debut album, The Stones’ Exile on Main Street, Radiohead’s Kid A, Springsteen’s Born To Run, Prince’s Purple Rain, and Elton John’s Yellowbrick Road.  Should be a fun time.

During my eight hours or so of traveling yesterday, I got to catch up on some reading and viewing entertainment:

  • Caught up on some episodes of Community on NBC.  Great show.  Here’s a fun clip to entice you.
  • Watched Adventureland.  It stars, among others, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, and it was directed by Greg Mottola, whose previous credits include Superbad and several episodes of Arrested Development and Undeclared.  This is a very good movie that I highly recommend.  It’s shameful that this hasn’t gotten more credit (only grossed $16 million at the domestic box office) and reviews appear mixed.  Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The characters were great and the writing was solid, melding witty commentary with a heartfelt coming-of-age story (“Your name is James….am I saying that right?….James?” delivered with perfection by Hader).  Plus, the music was great, even the constant annoyance of Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus”.
  • Caught some episodes of this season’s Mad Men.  This show could well go down as one of the finest shows in television history.  I’m not kidding.  I haven’t seen a show this well done since HBO’s The Wire.
  • I listened to some George Carlin and Bill Hicks stand-up comedy routines.  I love these guys.  Though Hicks goes off the deep-end with his conspiratorial nonsense, he generally has some good scathing commentary, something complemented very well with Carlin.  Denis Leary is in the same vein as these guys and I like him as well, though I know he took some flack for apparently stealing some material from Hicks.  Nonetheless, I love the tone, subject matter, delivery, etc.  Really good stuff for the less squeamish among us.
  • Lizzi got me an Amazon Kindle DX.  It’s the super-sized one that makes it easier to download newspapers and textbooks (good for me with school).  One of the great things about this little device is not only the ability to download a ton of books whenever I want, but I can store PDF files on it.  This means I can download class notes and not have to lug them around with me everywhere (which is a huge weight relief for someone on the road).  Plus, it means I can simply save interesting articles online in PDF form and then read them later on my Kindle.  This saves my eyes from the strain of the backlight and makes it cheaper for me to enjoy mags like The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, etc.
  • Among the articles I read during the flight was Malcolm Gladwell’s newest piece, which attempted to draw a parallel between our society’s obsession with American football and the disgusting “sport” of dogfighting.  While I tend to like Gladwell’s work and often can find little with which to take issue, I think he’s way off base with this one.  He’s basically saying that we, the viewing public, don’t care about the fact that NFL players put themselves at physical risk for the benefit of sport, incurring harm that sometimes results in brain impairment that takes the form of dementia or worse.  Obviously, this is a sad reality for anyone unfortunate enough to have to face it.  However, fans of dogfighting are in a league of evil all their own.  I’d be happy if each one of those morons were taken to a field somewhere and forced to fight each other for survival; this would be a justice unlike any other.  But there are several huge differences between the “sports”.  For one, NFL players actually have a choice of playing the sport whereas those poor dogs are forced to kill or be killed.  Oh yeah, that’s another difference – the sport of football does not celebrate the breaking of bones, drawing of blood or the event of death.  Rather, such events are met with gasps of horror and wishes for speedy recoveries.  And NFL players get paid millions of dollars to put themselves in harm’s way.  Those poor dogs live miserable existences and die under the worst of circumstances.  Were Gladwell to use the sport of ultimate fighting instead of football, I might at least partially see his point.  But the NFL?  In the words of Gob Bluth, come on!
  • I also read a piece about General Stanley McChrystal in the NY Times Magazine written by Dexter Filkins, whose book about Iraq and Afghanistan I quite enjoyed (The Forever War).  It’s a good, interesting piece delivered in very digestible form, a Filkins hallmark.  It helps one appreciate how hopeless our attempts over there are (if you read bewteen the lines); plus, I love reading about people like McChrystal, guys so intense and focused in their calling that you’d think they were born for exactly what they do (e.g. he sleeps five hours a night, runs 8-12 miles per day, etc.).
  • Finally, I read Bill Simmons’ NBA season preview, which was great, as always.  The guy knows his sports and he particularly excels at basketball.  He’s jokingly lobbied for a GM position in the NBA before, but I’m beginning to think that someone should take him seriously.  Not only would he bring with him millions of dedicated readers but he’d also make for a mighty fine GM.  The dude knows his stuff and, most importantly, knows when to call bullshit.  That’s a talent most modern-day GM’s seem to lack.  Were he to take over an NBA team, I’d be first in line to predict that team’s rise to the top.

Slice Of Awesome

Some enterprising blogger but together this mosaic of Matthew McConnaughey, which appears to illustrate his inability to support himself in movie promo posters.  It’s actually a good catch – the dude is always leaning on someone or something.

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Some Multimedia Quick Hits

I saw a trailer for Bruce Willis’ upcoming flick, The Surrogates, and couldn’t help but chuckle at the movie’s concept.  It strikes me as the brainchild of an SNL skit or something.  I can just imagine Bill Hader playing a Hollywood hustler pitching a movie idea to some studio bigwigs:  “You’ve got Bruce Willis fighting futuristic robots.  How can this not be gold?”.

This little brainstorm makes me wonder about how Clint Eastwood pitched his ideas for Million Dollar Baby and Gran Turino.  Clint: “I’ll play a cantankerous, tough old SOB who wanders into socially awkward subject matter and, it turns out, is a teddy bear deep down with a soft spot for (insert minority here).”

In TV news, I watched the series premiere of Community and liked it a lot.  I’ve always been a fan of Joel McHale (of Talk Soup fame) and I actually saw him once on a flight from Chicago to L.A., so naturally we’ve got a special bond since we breathed the same air for about four hours.  The show also stars John Oliver (of Daily Show fame) and the legendary Chevy Chase.  It appears to be a good, smart show, so I’m hoping it sticks.

Other reasons to be happy on the television front: Dexter makes its season four premiere on September 27th and Friday Night Lights returns on October 28th.  I’m giddy with excitement.

On the radio front, I’ve lightened up on the self-inflicted torture of listening to conservative talk radio.  One can only take so much of the myopic hatred being spewed by the likes of Mark Levin, Sean Hannity and Andrew Wilkow.  It’s pretty clear they each have an agenda that involves demonizing anyone who disagrees with the standard right-wing playbook.  I prefer my political hot air to be a bit more balanced.  Consequently, I searched around for other sources of background noise and am happy to report that I’ve rediscovered Howard Stern.  I’ve really been enjoying his show these past couple of weeks and am mad at myself for not coming back sooner.  One of the things that annoyed me about his show when he was on terrestrial radio was how ridiculously long his commercial breaks were; thankfully, those breaks are few and far between on Sirius, which makes me one happy consumer.  Other podcasts that I’ve rediscovered are ESPN’s BS Report and PTI as well as Adam Carolla’s show.  All good stuff that I recommend for anyone looking for some fun running dialogue on all things sports, movies, pop culture, etc.

Three things that made me laugh recently:

  1. Dan Le Batard on the Lamar Odom-Khloe Kardashian engagement: “It’s perfect.  You’ve got the third-best Laker with the third-best Kardashian sister”.  Booyah!
  2. A sarcastic Howard Stern on global warming: “Me, I’m trying to enlarge my carbon footprint so people remember me when I die.  I’m working on my legacy here!”.
  3. Rachel Maddow on crazy Glenn Beck: “The sous chef of politics as performance art.”

Brilliant idea of the week (from Bill Simmons):

One very easy way to make the WNBA relevant would be to lower the rims.  They already use smaller balls to adjust to the smaller hands of women, so why not lower the rims as part of a similar effort?  That way, the game would go from a snoozefest of jump-ball tie-ups, rebounds that take too long, and layups of junior high quality to Sportscenter-worthy highlight reels of monster dunks.

No Country For Old Dogs?

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The Cove

This movie looks pretty intense.  It’s a documentary/thriller that attempts to lift the veil on the dolphin slaughters that take place in Japan.  Pretty sad and harrowing stuff.

Cracked Up

The website Cracked.com (a great site, by the way) invited its readers to demonstrate – via Photoshop – how some popular movies had plots that could’ve been solved in minutes.  The response was quite good, and the site lists 23 of its favorites.  Here are a few of my picks:

This is the site’s #1 pick, which is taken from The Da Vinci Code.  It’s hard to make out the writing, but it says there in red “Jesus had kids”.  Certainly would’ve saved Professor Langdon a lot of work, eh?

FrogC4

This next one is making fun of Terminator.  As you’ll recall, Cyberdyne Systems was the corporation that created the Terminator robots that would ultimately decide that killing humans was fun.

Digityle

My final pick is clearly having fun with The Matrix.  Love it.

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RIP John Hughes

A fun montage tribute to the man who captured the adolescent angst of 1980s suburbia so well.

h/t JJ for the scoop.

Why Vampires Never Die

Guillermo del Toro (of Pan’s Labrynth fame) and Chuck Hogan wrote a piece in the NY Times explaining our current fixation with vampires, as evidenced by the smash hit of the Twilight series of books/movies and HBO’s Trueblood.  Though I haven’t really sampled either of the aforementioned, I found the article enlightening in its description of both the history of the vampire as well as reasons for the mythical creature’s popularity.

Monsters, like angels, are invoked by our individual and collective needs. Today, much as during that gloomy summer in 1816, we feel the need to seek their cold embrace.

Herein lies an important clue: in contrast to timeless creatures like the dragon, the vampire does not seek to obliterate us, but instead offers a peculiar brand of blood alchemy. For as his contagion bestows its nocturnal gift, the vampire transforms our vile, mortal selves into the gold of eternal youth, and instills in us something that every social construct seeks to quash: primal lust. If youth is desire married with unending possibility, then vampire lust creates within us a delicious void, one we long to fulfill.

In other words, whereas other monsters emphasize what is mortal in us, the vampire emphasizes the eternal in us. Through the panacea of its blood it turns the lead of our toxic flesh into golden matter.

Here And There

1. Gary Oldman let slip the news that Batman 3 is due to begin filming next year.  Please, please be true.

2.  Damn you, Chris Cooley.  Damn you!

3.  First Tony Romo & Jessica Simpson, now Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian.  Not sure what to make of all this, but I don’t like it.  Don’t like it one bit.

4.  Atta boy, Brett.  String the Vikings and their fans along for way too long only to pull the plug days before camp starts.  All while nobody outside of Minneapolis wanted to see you back anyway.  Reputation tarnished.  Sorry, Coley.

5.  Great piece by the Times‘ Maureen Dowd on the quality gulf that has emerged between Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.  Spot on.

6.  ESPN’s Rick Reilly recently called Tiger out for his childish ways.  Now that he brings it up, I totally see it.  Tiger does pout way too much.

7.  I didn’t like it at first, but on the recommendation of a friend I stuck with HBO’s Eastbound & Down and am happy I did.  It grows on you.  And it’s the kind of show that gets better with multiple viewings a la Anchorman.

8.  The Onion recently ran a smart thrashing of Dane Cook’s lameness that had me nodding and laughing throughout.  Cook might be the least funny successful comedian of all time.  Kind of like how Bill Simmons calls Dwight Howard the worst great player in the NBA.

I’ve Always Liked Brad Pitt

From an interview Pitt did with a German magazine called BILD to promote his upcoming Tarantino flick Inglorious Basterds:

BILD: Do you believe in God?

Brad Pitt (smiling): “No, no, no!”

BILD: Is your soul spiritual?

Brad Pitt: “No, no, no! I’m probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.

This Day In Slate

Some good stuff today from Slate magazine, including:

  • A look at Japan’s fixation with crummy American food imports (McDonald’s, TGI Fridays, Wendy’s, etc.).
  • An announcement that Steven Soderbergh’s film adaptation of Michael Lewis’ Moneyball may not get made (doh!).
  • Christopher Hitchens bringing his sharp and informed insight to the Iran discussion (though I disagree with at least part of his premise, the one encouraging Obama to be more vocal, which I believe would play nicely into the hands of the Iranian dictators).

Quick Hits

1.  My Meghan McCain fan van hit a speed bump with a recent piece of hers in which she – among other things – celebrates the wonderful stress-reducing qualities of firing handguns.  I, for one, prefer to throw hand grenades when I get stressed out.  But that’s just me.

2. Believe it or not, Fox News is capable of checking its socially conservative agenda at the door.  For example, the network has a late night show called Red Eye that brazenly pushes the envelope.  And it’s fantastic.  The show is hosted by Greg Gutfeld, who is a highly energetic and sarcastic guy who puts a fun spin on politics and other random topics of his choice.  He usually hosts a couple of people who sit around and discuss various issues of the day in a fun, sharp way that is characterized by witty banter and funny takedowns.  I’m watching a rerun now and they just mentioned how Nancy Pelosi looks like her skull is trying to escape her face.  Ha!  I particularly enjoy Gutfeld, who was formerly the editor for Maxim UK.  He says things like “this next story has a black belt in being awesome” and “[guest female host] is so hot, if I had an egg, I’d fry it on her face” and “[guest comedian] is so funny, if he were a belt, I’d loosen him after a big meal”.  This show is really good stuff that I highly recommend.  If my blog were a TV show, it would closely resemble this.  

3.  So I’m stateside at the moment and will be for the next month or so.  On our flight over, I was pleasantly surprised to find a United flight crew that was – dare I say? – good.  Having grown spoiled by the ridiculously high level of service found throughout Asia (particularly in Japan), I’ve come to lament the overall quality of service found here in the U.S.  However, our flight attendant crew on the way over was great; they were very professional and jovial people who seemed genuinely happy with their jobs.  This was a far cry from the usual cliche applied to the long-haul flights of U.S. carriers – grumpy old women who make it clear they’d much rather be elsewhere.  Of course, reality was checked shortly upon arrival when we picked up our rental car.  Not knowing the standard procedure, I attempted to exit the car at the checkout to point out some dents in the vehicle that I didn’t want assigned to me when I returned the car.  The attendant seeing us out couldn’t have been more miserable and disinterested in us or her job.  And, adding to the American cliche, she was fairly obese.  As I exited the car to explain the situation, she rolled her eyes and mumbled some standard, well-rehearsed response for people who didn’t know that the car’s dents are itemized on a sheet in the glove box.  And to be honest, I literally didn’t understand a word she said, which I informed her in a mixed state of jetlag and confusion (this elicited a loud giggle from Lizzi, who was enjoying the exchange from the safe distance of the passenger seat).  Welcome home!  

4.  Speaking of the flight over, I watched the movie Taken, which stars Liam Neeson.  Generally a fan of said actor, I thought this movie was atrocious.  Brutal acting (particularly the daughter, played by Maggie Grace) and a laughably outrageous script combined to form one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long while.  It was so over-the-top unbelievable that I found myself laughing out loud at points, which is a commonplace occurrence when I watch shows like 24, something with which the movie has apparently been compared.  No surprise there.

5.  Sadly, my first day in Chicago found me lying in bed nursing a nasty cold (I’m still waiting for my ears to pop from the flight over).  In between naps and nose-blows, I got to revisit a long-missed American pastime – channel-surfing.  Doing so today reminded me of how hit-and-miss such an exercise can be.  On the one hand, it’s great to have such easy access to ESPN, Fox, The History Channel, MSNBC and HBO.  On the other hand, we have some really, really bad TV here.  As evidence, consider the daytime talk shows Maury and The Jerry Springer Show.  Both follow a similar format, though Maury is a watered-down version of the two: find an outrageous story perpetrated by the folks representing the armpit of America then put them on the stage so they can fight it out with each other and the audience.  Haven’t we already seen these stories played out time and time again?  Things are so predictable that the luster of the show should’ve been lost years ago.  Instead, millions of Americans tune in daily to see America at its worst.  It’s embarrassing how popular these programs have become.  What a disappointment that shows like Arrested Development flounder after a couple seasons while Springer works closer to its 3500th episode.  Just shameful.  

I also watched the final third of the movie Never Been Kissed.  Lured in by a cast that included Drew Barrymore, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, James Franco, David Arquette and Jessica Alba, I gave the movie a shot.  And wow, what a mistake.  Terrible is too kind a word for this one.  If it were designed to be a spoof of those woulda-coulda-shoulda romantic comedies that are so highly unoriginal and predictable, then this movie would register an unmitigated success.  Unfortunately, it appears that is not the case and this movie is indeed a serious attempt at romantic humor.  Just horrific in every respect.  And quite possibly one of the cheesiest endings I’ve ever seen.  Surprisingly, the movie actually got decent reviews from some credible outlets, which boggles my mind.  Luckily, I found one review that got it spot on: The Washington Post called it “predictable, slightly painful and embarrassing as all get-out.”  I couldn’t agree more.  And one more thing.  David Arquette, for whatever reason, ranks as one of my least favorite actors alive.  Something about him just annoys the hell out of me.   

6.  I’m disappointed that Ed Schultz has his own show on MSNBC.  What bothers me isn’t necessarily the content, though I do take issue with his obvious liberal bias (to go along with Olbermann and Maddow) and the fact that he’s such a fan of unions.  Rather, I’m perturbed by the show’s title – The Ed Show.  If anyone should have a show by that name, it should be me.

Chris Gardner, Cont’d.

As a follow-up to my previous post, I just did a quick search on YouTube to see if there were any good Gardner clips to support my theory.  And sure enough – I struck gold!  The below clip is great stuff.  The title alone got me all riled up: “$250,000 in my pocket and I still can’t get a f*#!ing cab!”.  There are so many wonderful takeaways from this video that I simply don’t know where to begin…

There is nothing more to be said.  Case closed.

Start Where You Are – Lessons From A Tool

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A little while back, I lamented the fact that Chris Gardner, whose rags-to-riches story was wonderfully-portrayed by Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness, was friends with Glenn Beck.  Given my opinion of the Fox News talk show host, Gardner was immediately considered lame by association.  However, my disappointment with the man grew exponentially when I noticed that Gardner committed a massive fashion faux pas during an appearance on Beck’s show: the man was wearing two watches.

Maybe that was simply a fleeting moment of douchebaggery that should be forgiven and not, as I feared, a view of Gardner’s standard attire.  Well, he’s now got a new book out called Start Where You Are, which I’m sure is full of obvious tidbits about how one can overcome the odds with hard work and perseverance to become fabulously wealthy.  I suppose I can’t begrudge his attempt to pad his bank account with more statements of the obvious.  It’s good work if you can find it.  But what I can do is throw up all over his book’s cover, which is pictured above.  Why?  Because the man is wearing two watches.  Again.

Apparently, Gardner considers it fashionable to adorn his wrists with two fancy watches.  But fashionable it is not.  Instead, it makes painfully obvious the fact that the person sporting those watches is a narcissist obsessed with his own vanity and sense of accomplishment.  That may seem an extreme statement, but let me be clear: there is no logical reason for someone to wear two watches.  None whatsoever.  It’s like wearing more than one polo.  Or outfitting one’s mouth with gold crowns when dental hygiene doesn’t call for it.  No functional reason exists for doing these things.  The only justification for doing so is celebration of one’s self.  It’s showing off, plain and simple.

I once heard someone claim that the reason for wearing an expensive watch is because you can’t drive your Ferrari into a meeting.  In this case, shall we assume Gardner owns two Ferraris?  Maybe so.  Look, we’re all guilty of vanity to some extent, which is fine and to be expected.  I, for one, appreciate a fine watch.  And much of that appreciation derives more from its construct and look rather than its ability to keep time.  After all, how much more capable is a Patek Philippe at telling me I’m running late for a meeting than a Casio?  The reality is many of us sacrifice function for form, particularly when it comes to watches.  Otherwise, we’d all be walking around with a Timex strapped to our wrists.  At least digital watches are capable of remembering that there are less than 31 days in certain months whereas I’m constantly having to reset the dates for my analog watches with each passing month.  But the fact is most of us don’t sport digital watches for the simple reason that they just don’t look as nice.  And that’s OK (at least in my book).

But back to my main gripe: wearing two watches is totally unacceptable for any reasonably-grounded human being.  This is the wealth equivalent of driving a Bentley or owning a Vertu mobile phone  – you do it to remind everyone around you that you can, not because the marginal utility of the product itself even remotely justifies its exorbitant cost.  And it’s the stylistic equivalent of wearing pants with one leg rolled up (unless while riding a bike) or wearing a polo with the collar popped – you do it because you think it’s cool, not because it is cool.  Rather, it is astronomically uncool.

And what I find truly rich about Gardner’s apparent wealth flaunting is the hypocrisy of it all.  His website has quotes like “money is the least important component of wealth” and “net worth does not equal self worth”.  The site is a standing monument to the man himself, highlighting everything about Gardner that makes him so wonderful.  Does he do this to give everyone hope and something to strive for?  Perhaps.  But we can be damn sure he does it to turn a profit too.  Naturally, visitors to the site are given myriad opportunities to purchase something related to the man, ranging from $40 DVDs of his speaking tours to $15 women’s tees.  And he’s also happy to tell us that his book was just translated to Chinese.

Again, I don’t begrudge the man his accomplishments or his wealth.  In a vaccuum, his story is certainly a remarkable one that deserves special recognition.  Plus, his brokerage company apparently donates a portion of its profits to local community development, and he is in the process of setting up a philanthropic foundation.  This is all well and good.  But the two watches are simply too much to stomach, making me wonder whether the nods toward charity belie a more selfish motive – trying to come off good optically when deep down this man is motivated mostly by self-interest and personal enrichment.  It’s all strikingly similar to those charlatans who go around preaching that prosperity gospel nonsense.  Make no mistake – that warm and fuzzy feeling they are peddling is a product.  And the more we consume of it, the richer these folks get.

Moneyball The Movie

I know that many of you out there are Michael Lewis fans.  I also know that you tend to be sports fans as well.  This means you likely enjoyed the marriage of the two that came in the form of Moneyball, that brilliant little book that explained how objective statistical analysis supplanted subjective judgment in the building and management of professional baseball teams.  Well, even more exciting than the book itself – yes, I consider the combination of sports and statistics to be “exciting” – is news that the book will soon be made into a movie.  And check out the cast thus far: Steven Soderbergh as director, Brad Pitt as Billy Beane, and Demetri Martin as Paul DePodesta.  That’s some serious talent, yo.

Slice Of Awesome

A little Ron Burgundy to start the day off right…

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More On The Maersk Rescue

I’m having lots of fun thinking about that extraordinary rescue in the Indian Ocean the other day.  What an incredible series of events.  Seriously, the skill demonstrated by those Seals was just superb.  Split-second decision-making resulting in coordinated shots that hit with pinpoint accuracy on three moving targets.  Just incredible.

This story has all the makings for a great Hollywood flick.  Clear delineation between good guys and bad guys.  Bravery on the part of the Maersk crew and their indomitable captain.  Worried friends and family gathered at home on a holiday weekend.  A new president being faced with his first standalone military test.  Bad ass special ops guys being dropped from the sky so they can take up positions nearby and pick off the bad guys with a flawlessly executed rescue operation.  It lines up perfectly.  And America could certainly use a heartwarming story of triumph these days.

And so I eagerly await Mark Bowden’s accounting of the events in The Atlantic in due course.  Perhaps we can get the band back together and Ridley Scott can adapt Bowden’s story for the screen, just as he did with Black Hawk Down.  They could bring Eric Bana and Josh Hartnett back to play two of the three snipers.  And my vote for Captain Richard Phillips would be Russell Crowe.  Git er done!

Out Of England

Lizzi and I watched Ricky Gervais’ HBO stand-up special Out of England tonight.  A die-hard Gervais fan, I found it quite good.  I particularly liked the part where he questions the wisdom of various children’s fables and nursery rhymes (e.g. What are kids supposed to learn from an egg that falls off a wall?  And why would the king send horses to put him back together?).  In addition to brilliant content, I really enjoy his style, which is highly self-deprecating and generally laid-back.  He strikes me as a guy who doesn’t take himself all that seriously, a notion strengthened by the fact that his trademark black v-neck had two very noticeable stains on the front.

Having seen a couple of his other stand-up routines, I’ve noticed that he’s quite the fan of Foster’s beer, parking one of the big blue cans behind his lecturn for the occasional sip.  I also noticed that the pub he frequents on his show Extras has Foster’s prominently displayed.  Referred to as being “Australian for beer” in its commercials, I learned on my recent trip Down Under that it’s virtually unheard of for Aussies to actually consume the product.  In fact, I’m told one would be hard pressed to find Foster’s in any respectable Aussie pub.  Interesting how these things work, eh?

Some Movie Notes

Thanks to the iTunes movie rental shop, Lizzi and I took in two movies this weekend: 1) Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona; and 2) Milk.  Both movies were, in a word, fantastic.

With Vicky, Allen proved yet again why he’s considered a master of the art.  The movie hit on all cylinders – brilliant dialogue, great pacing, wonderful directing, and beautiful subjects (the actors as well as the city).  Allen is a wonderful storyteller; a living legend in that regard.  And the cast, which includes Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and Scarlett Johansson, is superb.  Not only did this movie make me want to visit Barcelona at the earliest possible convenience, but it also opened my eyes to the gorgeousness of Ms. Cruz.  Holy cow!  I always knew she was beautiful but watching her in this film propelled her into my top five.  In addition to making love to the camera, she did a damn good job of acting as well.  In any event, it’s a great film that deserves your attention, Woody Allen fan or not.  The below trailer should be enough to wet your whistle.  It includes part of a great scene where Bardem’s character brazenly cuts to the chase in one of the greatest pickup attempts I’ve ever seen.

As for Milk, this was a very well done film.  Not my favorite film by any stretch but certainly worth watching on several fronts.  The most important takeaway for me was a greater appreciation for how absurd our country can be when it comes to civil rights.  That homosexuals are not afforded certain rights thanks to the well-organized efforts of religious zealots (psychos) is a shame.  The fact that we allow sexual bigotry to persist as the last remaining socially-acceptable form of discrimination is a disgrace.  Seriously, how can we possibly reconcile this with the notion that we are the land of the free, where we encourage the pursuit of “liberty”?  The second takeaway for me was the acting.  Though there were good performances all around, including solid turns by Josh Brolin, Emil Hirsch and James Franco, Sean Penn towered over everyone (as he so often does).  He was perfectly sublime in his portrayal of Harvey Milk and his Oscar win appears to be very well-deserved.  Though I don’t particularly care for his political machinations, Penn is clearly among the best actors of our time, ranking right up there with Daniel Day Lewis, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

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