Henry Rollins wrote a fantastical love letter to conservative hothead Anne Coulter in the latest edition of Vanity Fair that makes for a fun, quick read.

My Ann was on Fox News with Geraldo Rivera. These two tele-titans were enlightening millions with their punditry par excellence when the topic turned to citizens bringing guns to events where our president is appearing. “More guns, less crime,” said my Annabananamarzipana, punching big gaping holes in my “Less guns, less crime” idea, part of my “No Bang, More Fun Theory.” Mr. Rivera nearly ate his mustache! This was about the time when my Ann said, “By the way, I’m more likely to be shot than the president.”

Girl, don’t you start! Don’t you ever think that you are more likely to be shot than our president or anyone else! Ann, darling, we need you! I need you more than fundraising Christian zealots need same-sex marriage! Even if some awful person out there wanted to assassinate you, think of all the people who would gladly throw themselves in front of that bullet. There’s at least one, with health care and good to go! Take it easy, hot thang!

The mag also had a sarcastic take on that wingnut Muammar Qaddafi and his completely ridiculous sense of style:

Drawing upon the influences of Lacroix, Liberace, Phil Spector (for hair), Snoopy, and Idi Amin, Libya’s leader – now in his 60s – is simply the most unabashed dresser on the world stage.  We pay homage to a sartorial genius of our time.

Seriously, what is it about megalomaniacs that causes them to dress in such outrageous fashion?  As if their behavior weren’t embarrassing enough!  And why are these morons allowed an audience at proper international events?  Listening to Qaddafi’s despicable speech in front of the U.N. yesterday made me want to put my fist through the television.  What a complete and total jackass.  Again, just a reminder that there is no justice in this world.