Michael Vick gets to speak to schoolkids about peer pressure, but the right-wing wingnuts throw a conniption if President Obama wants to speak – from experience – about the benefits of education and hard work. Something is seriously wrong with this picture.
Bathroom doors should open from the inside-out. It’s so not cool to have to reach for a door handle after washing your hands. It would be much better to simply give a shoulder lean to open the door as you exit, leaving the germs to come off in the wash or on the cheek of the poor schmuck you hug later that day.
I listened to snippets of that Whitney Houston-Oprah Winfrey love-fest, er, interview the other day and threw up in my mouth. Twice.
Airline pilots and flight attendants should make concerted efforts to minimize in-flight announcements. Nobody likes having a movie or snooze interrupted by worthless drivel and/or umpteen seatbelt announcements at the slightest whiff of turbulence. Too bumpy? Just turn on the fasten seatbelt sign and leave it at that. Those dumb enough not to know any better should be punished anyway. A thinning of the herd, if you will. Flights with multiple languages are the worst on this account. For example, Singapore-Tokyo has announcements made in English, then Japanese, then Chinese. Ugh. Unless we’re taking a dive and I need to know I’ve got thirty seconds to live, just leave me alone so I can peacefully suffer through movies like The Proposal.
As if we needed more reason to despise Kanye West, he gave us that brutal moment at the MTV Video Music Awards this week where he totally stole Taylor Swift’s thunder. And then he did this. With mockingly serious raised fist, I shout, “Damn you, Kanye! Damn you!”. Seriously, that guy’s the worst. I totally agree with Obama’s assessment of that jackass.
The Ellis Lanksder stuttering press conference was kinda funny, but I felt more bad than amused. Poor guy. If there were such a thing as justice in this world, he’d be given the home addresses of each douchebag that belittled him on the YouTube comment feed under the video. That way, he could dedicate his entire offseason to tracking each of them down and beating the ever-loving shit out of them. And he’d film the whole thing so he could post each beatdown on YouTube. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
Here’s a question – who was the bigger buffoon in front of a microphone this week? Michael Jordan or Kanye West. Be like Mike? No thanks.
Dennis Miller should be more popular than he is. Sharp, witty and able to speak to a wide range of topics. He’s partisan, to be sure, but at least he’s thoughtful and normal in the way he goes about it. And he’s able to make his points without hyperventilating. Come to think of it, he’s kinda like the anti-Beck.
Dare I say that I suspect Ellen Degeneres will be a huge upgrade over Paula Abdul on American Idol? And dare I wonder why I care?
Luckily, the incomparable Garrison Keillor survived a stroke last week in relatively good form. Thank goodness for that. The man’s a literary gift whose voice I hope to enjoy for many years to come.
