Random Japan
Japan has turned into something of an international laughingstock given its over-the-top response to the Swine Flu, where actions range from hazmat teams boarding planes from overseas and scanning everyone onboard to hand-washing disinfectants posted throughout building lobbies to office visitors being required to wear face masks to businesses completely forbidding their employees from traveling abroad. In the midst of the hysteria was this gem of a headline last week: “Paranoid Hospitals Turning Away Those With Fever, or With A Foreign Friend”. (via the Mainichi Daily News and Metropolis).
Missing Arrested Development
The Daily Beast ran a piece today that lamented the cancellation of a handful of television shows. Included among them was Arrested Development, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time. Below is the piece’s assessment of the show, with which I couldn’t agree more:
Arrested Development is probably the best example of the kind of show that had a solid fanbase, critical acclaim, even some Emmy wins, but still couldn’t gain ratings’ traction. If you need proof that television is not a just world, consider this—Arrested Development was canceled after three seasons, while Two and a Half Men will start season seven in the fall.
Worst Poem Ever?
Mike Huckabee, the erstwhile minister turned politician turned Fox News talking head, has just penned a poem in (dis)honor of Nancy Pelosi. While I’m certainly no poet laureate (see my amateur Avon Walk attempt), I have no problem judging Huckabee’s poem. And it is astonishingly bad. There’s no cadence whatsoever and the words are constantly tripping over each other. I have no problem with the aim of the poem – I am no fan of Nancy Pelosi and her many shenanigans. But the execution is horrible. I also find it funny that Huckabee, who is framed as a jovial, good-natured sport with a warm heart (after all, ministers are inherently good people, right?), doesn’t hesitate to wip out the poison-tipped weapons when it comes to playing politics. One minute he goes around justifying torture (my fascination with the Christian tendency to endorse torture and war is the topic of a future post) and the next he is participating in character assassination by way of stinted prose.
In any event, here is the full version of the poem. Is it the worst ever? You be the judge.
Fancy Nancy
Here’s a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a “leaker.”
She flies on government planes coast to coast
And doesn’t mind that our economy is toast
She makes the Air Force squire her in their military jets
There’s room for her family, her staff, and even her pets.
Until now, she annoyed us, but her gaffes were mostly funny;
Even though it was painful to watch her waste our tax money.
But now her wacky comments are no laughing matter;
She’s either unwilling to tell the truth, or she’s mad as a hatter!
She sat in briefings and knew about enhanced interrogation;
But claims she wasn’t there, and can’t give an explanation.
She disparages the CIA and says they are a bunch of liars;
Even the press aren’t buying it and they’re stoking their fires.
I think Speaker Pelosi has done too much speaking;
And instead of her trashing our intelligence officials, it’s her nose that needs tweaking.
If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it’s Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.
I say it here and I say it rather clear-
It’s time for Nancy Pelosi to resign and get out of here.
American Idol Wrap
So we made it back in one piece from our charity hike this weekend. A full post on the event will follow later. For now, I’ll simply state that no good deed goes unpunished.
In the meantime, allow me a moment to reflect on the end of this season’s American Idol. I must say that I wasn’t all that surprised that Kris Allen won. As I mentioned in a previous post, despite all his obvious talent, Adam Lambert didn’t quite have enough going for him in the likability department, which is where Allen nudged him out. Allen’s got an “awe shucks” quality about him that I imagine much of America found endearing.
For me (I’m channeling Randy Jackson here), the best pipes belonged to Danny Gokey and Alison Iraheta, who finished third and fourth, respectively. Both have powerful, smokey voices that resonate with me. Maybe Iraheta is just too young and doesn’t project well enough yet. And Gokey’s problem is that the dude has no stage presence whatsoever. He looks to be in a state of fixed awkwardness each time he performs. Great voice, brutal presence. His duet with Lionel Richie was cringe-worthy in that respect.
Lambert is what I’d imagine music gurus call technically proficient. The dude has an incredible voice. Even more impressive is the control that he has over it. I don’t think he managed an off-key note the entire season. Seriously, the dude was pitch-perfect throughout. And his stage presence was the best of the bunch. He fit right in with Kiss during the finale performance, both in terms of vibe and voice. I just got a bit tired of all the screaming, which kind of made him a one-trick pony.
Which brings us to Allen. A one-trick pony he is not, which allows me to conclude that the most talented artist won. Not the best singer, not the best performer. The best artist. Allen’s ability to complement his good but not great voice with some guitar- and piano-playing was the differentiating factor in his victory. And he was an underdog, which plays well in America. So I say kudos to him for that. He seems like a good guy with a genuine love for music, so I’m happy for him. But my assessment is that, when it comes to pure singing talent, he is massively outshone by some of his fellow finalists. Don’t get me wrong, he’s very good. But I just think that Lambert, Gokey and Iraheta totally explode when they’re on the stage whereas Allen just occupies it in respectable fashion. I got the sense that Simon Cowell felt like America settled for second-best with this one. And, as is typically the case, I find myself in complete agreement with the grumpy Brit.
Oh, and one more thing. That song that Kara Dioguardi co-wrote for the finale was atrocious. And that little thing she did with the bikini girl was lame, though I must admit that she sang very well and looked even better.
I’m Off!
So I’m about to head out on the Oxfam Trailwalker that I wrote about earlier. As a result, I’ll be incommunicado for the next couple days. Stay tuned for a rehashing of events upon my return on Sunday. Wish me luck!
Random Japan
Hoping to discourage noisy young people from hanging out at a park in Tokyo, a local ward will begin broadcasting annoying “mosquito-like” buzzing sounds from 11 PM to 5 AM everyday using a device developed by a British scientist. The high-frequency sounds of about 18 kilohertz are inaudible to older people.
Noodle This
If the United States were a country in Europe, it would not be allowed to join the euro. With a deficit of $1.75 trillion forecast for this fiscal year, our debt/GDP ratio is about 13%, well above the 3% mandated by the European Union for its euro members. That’s what I would call less than ideal.
Quote Of The Day
From Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, explaining why he will refuse to accompany his team on its trip to meet President Barack Obama at the White House:
If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he would have invited Arizona if they had won.
I’m gonna go with SI’s Peter King here and say that this is quite possibly the most nonsensical quote ever uttered by a professional athlete.
Photo Of The Day
This is the IBM 305 RAMAC, one of the world’s first commercial hard drives, being lifted into the cargo hold of an airplane circa 1956. It cost roughly $160,000 and had total memory capacity of about 5 MB. By comparison, my tiny iPod Shuffle has a memory capacity of 4 GB and costs $79. h/t BPM for the photo.
Onward Christian Soldiers!
In a revelation equal parts absurd and frightening, GQ put together a slide show showing how former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, made routine use of scripture when preparing intelligence briefings for W. It includes pictures of various military personnel/vehicles accented by select biblical quotes to help drive the point home. An example includes a crouching U.S. soldier with the words “Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3″ located just overhead. It also shows a group of soldiers praying under the words “Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually. 1 Chron 16:11″.
This may have been a savvy sales job on the part of Rumsfeld, where the erstwhile secretary tailored the presentation to suit his evangelical boss. Or it came from a place of genuine belief. Either way, it’s disturbing.
Chris Gardner, Cont’d.
As a follow-up to my previous post, I just did a quick search on YouTube to see if there were any good Gardner clips to support my theory. And sure enough – I struck gold! The below clip is great stuff. The title alone got me all riled up: “$250,000 in my pocket and I still can’t get a f*#!ing cab!”. There are so many wonderful takeaways from this video that I simply don’t know where to begin…
There is nothing more to be said. Case closed.
Start Where You Are – Lessons From A Tool
A little while back, I lamented the fact that Chris Gardner, whose rags-to-riches story was wonderfully-portrayed by Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness, was friends with Glenn Beck. Given my opinion of the Fox News talk show host, Gardner was immediately considered lame by association. However, my disappointment with the man grew exponentially when I noticed that Gardner committed a massive fashion faux pas during an appearance on Beck’s show: the man was wearing two watches.
Maybe that was simply a fleeting moment of douchebaggery that should be forgiven and not, as I feared, a view of Gardner’s standard attire. Well, he’s now got a new book out called Start Where You Are, which I’m sure is full of obvious tidbits about how one can overcome the odds with hard work and perseverance to become fabulously wealthy. I suppose I can’t begrudge his attempt to pad his bank account with more statements of the obvious. It’s good work if you can find it. But what I can do is throw up all over his book’s cover, which is pictured above. Why? Because the man is wearing two watches. Again.
Apparently, Gardner considers it fashionable to adorn his wrists with two fancy watches. But fashionable it is not. Instead, it makes painfully obvious the fact that the person sporting those watches is a narcissist obsessed with his own vanity and sense of accomplishment. That may seem an extreme statement, but let me be clear: there is no logical reason for someone to wear two watches. None whatsoever. It’s like wearing more than one polo. Or outfitting one’s mouth with gold crowns when dental hygiene doesn’t call for it. No functional reason exists for doing these things. The only justification for doing so is celebration of one’s self. It’s showing off, plain and simple.
I once heard someone claim that the reason for wearing an expensive watch is because you can’t drive your Ferrari into a meeting. In this case, shall we assume Gardner owns two Ferraris? Maybe so. Look, we’re all guilty of vanity to some extent, which is fine and to be expected. I, for one, appreciate a fine watch. And much of that appreciation derives more from its construct and look rather than its ability to keep time. After all, how much more capable is a Patek Philippe at telling me I’m running late for a meeting than a Casio? The reality is many of us sacrifice function for form, particularly when it comes to watches. Otherwise, we’d all be walking around with a Timex strapped to our wrists. At least digital watches are capable of remembering that there are less than 31 days in certain months whereas I’m constantly having to reset the dates for my analog watches with each passing month. But the fact is most of us don’t sport digital watches for the simple reason that they just don’t look as nice. And that’s OK (at least in my book).
But back to my main gripe: wearing two watches is totally unacceptable for any reasonably-grounded human being. This is the wealth equivalent of driving a Bentley or owning a Vertu mobile phone – you do it to remind everyone around you that you can, not because the marginal utility of the product itself even remotely justifies its exorbitant cost. And it’s the stylistic equivalent of wearing pants with one leg rolled up (unless while riding a bike) or wearing a polo with the collar popped – you do it because you think it’s cool, not because it is cool. Rather, it is astronomically uncool.
And what I find truly rich about Gardner’s apparent wealth flaunting is the hypocrisy of it all. His website has quotes like “money is the least important component of wealth” and “net worth does not equal self worth”. The site is a standing monument to the man himself, highlighting everything about Gardner that makes him so wonderful. Does he do this to give everyone hope and something to strive for? Perhaps. But we can be damn sure he does it to turn a profit too. Naturally, visitors to the site are given myriad opportunities to purchase something related to the man, ranging from $40 DVDs of his speaking tours to $15 women’s tees. And he’s also happy to tell us that his book was just translated to Chinese.
Again, I don’t begrudge the man his accomplishments or his wealth. In a vaccuum, his story is certainly a remarkable one that deserves special recognition. Plus, his brokerage company apparently donates a portion of its profits to local community development, and he is in the process of setting up a philanthropic foundation. This is all well and good. But the two watches are simply too much to stomach, making me wonder whether the nods toward charity belie a more selfish motive – trying to come off good optically when deep down this man is motivated mostly by self-interest and personal enrichment. It’s all strikingly similar to those charlatans who go around preaching that prosperity gospel nonsense. Make no mistake – that warm and fuzzy feeling they are peddling is a product. And the more we consume of it, the richer these folks get.
Random Japan
While on the bike at the gym today, I watched part of a Japanese professional soccer game. In addition to the incredibly amateur quality of the gameplay, I was taken with a sign that I saw being held by someone in the crowd. It read, “Beat Your Rival” and the owner of that there sign was waving it about in very proud fashion. Now stop and think about how generic and unmoving that is. Beat your rival? My high school did better than that. At least we had things like “Chop Down The Lumberjacks” and “Patriots Waterboard” (ok, ok, I made that second one up). But how lame is “beat your rival”? Can you imagine attending a Red Sox-Yankees game and seeing someone in the stands at Fenway holding up that sign?
Charity
So I know these aren’t the best of times for soliciting charitable donations, but I’m hoping some of you have managed to tuck away an extra buck or two that you’re willing to part with for a good cause. I’m about to participate in two endurance events so I can get in some good exercise and convince my body that I’ve still got it. Oh, and also to raise money for some darn good causes.
The first event I want to highlight is the Avon Walk For Breast Cancer. It’s a 39-mile walk stretched over the course of two days designed to help raise funds for breast cancer research. I’ll be walking with my sister-in-law, Ali, in Chicago on June 6-7.
Why should you donate? Because every 13 minutes a life is lost to breast cancer. And because I wrote a poem for the occasion:
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
I like boobies
and so should you.The Avon Walk
is an annual affair.
39 miles walked
to show that we care.Times are tough,
that’s for sure.
But the battle persists
to find a cure.So lend your support
to this noble endeavor.
And let’s defeat breast cancer
now and forever.
Take that, Walt Whitman! Now wipe that tear from your eye and get out your credit card. I need to raise a minimum of $1,800 to participate in the walk. Never willing to settle for the minimum, I’ve set a reasonable goal of $2,000…but keep in mind that we should feel very, very free to surpass that amount. There is no such thing as too much when it comes to stuff like this. So please click the following link to visit my fundraising page and have at it.
The second event I want to highlight is the Oxfam Trailwalker, which is taking place next weekend and is advertised as the world’s greatest team challenge. In it, teams of four are given a maximum of 48 hours to trek 100 kilometers (~62 miles) across the Japanese countryside (they also hold the walk in Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom). You can read more about the challenge here.
I’ll be walking with three fellow expats (two Brits and a Colombian) and we’ve set the goal of finishing the trek in under 30 hours. We’ve also set the goal of finishing with lives and limbs intact, so we’ll see which goal wins out. Our team is called Los Albariños. For the oenophiles in the house, you’ll know that albariño is a variety of white wine grape grown in Spain and Portugal. We chose the name because our inspiration for the walk came during an albariño-infused dinner one night about three weeks back. And now here we are.
Funds raised for the walk will help support Oxfam International’s efforts to combat poverty and suffering in over 100 countries worldwide. Thanks to the efforts of my comrades and of our sponsor, BofA/Merrill Lynch (where a teammate is a partner), we’ve already raised the minimum amount required. However, as with all charities, there is nothing wrong with going above and beyond. Plus, I’m being massively overshadowed by my teammates on the fundraising front, so I need to step it up! For those interested in giving, please visit our team link.
Obviously, it would be awesome if you could contribute to both events. However, if you choose only one event to contribute to, please choose Avon. And keep in mind that I understand times are tough for many, so please don’t feel obligated. I also know that I’m getting a late jump on the Avon Walk, so if you’ve already contributed to someone, good on you. Just know that every little bit helps and any amount is welcome.
Missed Connections
This is clearly a joke. But a mighty fine one at that. h/t Vuj for the scoop.
The Reason Project
My man Sam Harris (of The End of Faith and Letter to a Christian Nation fame) has finally got his Reason Project up-and-running. I guess I shouldn’t say finally given that the guy has been plenty occupied studying for his PhD in neuroscience. In any event, per the website, “The Reason Project is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit foundation devoted to spreading scientific knowledge and secular values in society. The foundation draws on the talents of prominent and creative thinkers in a wide range of disciplines to encourage critical thinking and erode the influence of dogmatism, superstition, and bigotry in our world.” The project’s advisory board is a venerable who’s who of atheists, philosophers, writers, biologists and thinkers, including the likes of Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, Salman Rushdie, Ian McEwan, Cliff Asness and Steven Pinker. Oh goody!
Joke Of The Day
A Short, Inspirational Story
Recently I was asked to play in a golf charity tournament.
At first I said, ‘Naaahhh!’
Then they said to me : ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind kids.’
Then I thought, ‘Dude…I could win this.’
Moneyball The Movie
I know that many of you out there are Michael Lewis fans. I also know that you tend to be sports fans as well. This means you likely enjoyed the marriage of the two that came in the form of Moneyball, that brilliant little book that explained how objective statistical analysis supplanted subjective judgment in the building and management of professional baseball teams. Well, even more exciting than the book itself – yes, I consider the combination of sports and statistics to be “exciting” – is news that the book will soon be made into a movie. And check out the cast thus far: Steven Soderbergh as director, Brad Pitt as Billy Beane, and Demetri Martin as Paul DePodesta. That’s some serious talent, yo.
The GOP And Sex
Just in case you haven’t been paying attention, Meghan McCain continues to make sense over at The Daily Beast, this time waxing philosophical on the GOP’s strange obsession with promoting sexual abstinence. Someone please bump Rush from his perch and give this girl a microphone. Though I certainly don’t agree with everything she has to say, she brings some fresh and pragmatic thinking that I believe is sorely lacking in today’s Republican Party.
The key, honestly, is communication between parents and children. At the end of the day, the worst thing parents can do is raise children who are not prepared for the situations they may encounter, especially when they’re not planned. (For anyone who remembers their teen years, you know what I mean.) Unfortunately, Republicans typically don’t like to discuss or deal with things they think are wrong or immoral. And that’s a huge mistake. If we can’t discuss birth control in addition to abstinence, and in a nonjudgmental way, kids will continue to make bad choices for lack of having access to informed, safe options. Not everyone shares the same beliefs, and more importantly, people don’t always react the same way to their circumstances. Which is why it is so important to encourage honest, open communication about the realities of sex within the party at large, and more specifically, between parents and their children.
Rachel Maddow’s Fashion
I’m by no means a fashion maven and am very likely speaking way out of school, but I’m going to give MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow some unsolicited advice. Here it is, concise and in pictures.
Yes.
No. Particularly the glasses.
A Plea For Replay
Two days and two matches materially impacted by officiating failures. I’m referring here to the horrendous all-around display of refereeing during the Barcelona-Chelsea Champs League fixture and the crucial missed foul call at the end of the Mavs-Nuggets game that allowed Denver to take a 3-0 series lead. These are just two examples of an issue that has plagued sports for as long as the games have existed – the inherent tendency for humans to make mistakes in real-time. Things don’t have to be this way you know, particularly with technology being what it is. Why can’t we complement the efforts of the guys on the field/court with a team up in the press box that is able to monitor the action on their own screens with the added benefits of multiple angles and instant replay? This way, each call (or non-call) made by the guys on the ground can be checked and/or confirmed by their colleagues acting as eyes in the sky via a direct feed between the two parties. Plus, the folks in the booth can give the officials on the ground real-time updates to help them manage the game better (e.g. Shaq is spending too much time in the lane, Kenyon Martin keeps poking Dirk in the eye when your back is turned, Ron Artest just punched a fan in the face, etc.). This would, without a doubt, result in games being officiated in more accurate fashion. Why hasn’t anyone promoted this idea before? Am I missing something?
Photo Of The Day
I borrowed this photo from a NY Times article that talked about how Al Qaeda is targeting Pakistan instead of the West these days, taking a more opportunistic approach to jihad, I suppose (i.e. pouncing on a weakened government that happens to be in their backyard). In the photo, some nutjob is burning an effigy of President Obama because, you know, these things accomplish a lot. What struck me about this photo are the red placards that the two onlookers are wearing. I’m not sure about you, but I’m going to take the wording as a cheer instead of an invitation to leave someplace (after all, we’re not technically in Pakistan). Just insert some exclamation points and the scene takes on a Team America feel. Go America Go! Woo hoo!!
Thinking Outside The Box
In what some may call a desperate (and tasteless) effort to boost sales, a Chinese real estate company has hooked up with a matchmaking agency to throw in a wife to go along with that brand new condo. Sleazy or brilliant? You decide. I’m not really sure what to make of it all…I currently find myself stuck somewhere between impressed and utterly bewildered. All I know is that with a nation chock-full of budding entrepreneurs, we can expect similar moments of “inspiration” for decades to come. Anyone who has visited the mainland can attest to the fact that the Chinese – despite whatever form the official government may take – practice a form of economics that is best described as capitalism on steroids.
Rewarding Mediocrity – And A Rant On Grey’s Anatomy
In the past on this here blog, I’ve pondered the strange longevity associated with various careers, especially in the face of what would normally be associated with lackluster results. Specifically, I took note of how politicians, prognosticators of various sorts (markets, sports, etc.) and professional/college coaches are constantly being rewarded for mediocrity and/or outright failure.
A great example of this is word that Eddie Jordan is being considered for head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Why does this strike me as strange? Well, for one, Jordan has a career coaching record of 230 wins and 288 losses. That equates to a winning percentage of .444, which falls well short of spectacular. Put another way, his teams lose 56% of the time (by comparison, Phil Jackson’s teams lose only 29% of the time). Can you imagine hiring someone who told you that they were right a little bit more than half the time? Wouldn’t you at least want a coach who statistically stands a better chance of winning a game than if I were to walk out there and coach the team myself (there’s a 50% probability of that on a standalone basis)?
From 2003-2008, Jordan served as head coach of the Washington Wizards, during which time he accumulated a record of 197-224. I suppose he deserves some credit for getting the Wizards into the playoffs four out of those five years, but his overall record certainly isn’t the stuff of legend. More interesting to me is the fact that Jordan has already had a turn coaching the Kings. From 1996-1998, Jordan coached Sacramento for basically 1.2 seasons, during which time he put together a record of 33-64. So, basically, he was “right” 34% of the time. Even the much-maligned Charlie Weis has seen his team win 58% of the time! And yet here Jordan is, being interviewed for the top job yet again.
And so I wonder, why would this guy be given yet another shot at a job that he really hasn’t done all that well with in the first place? Besides baseball, where a .444 batting average would be off the charts, I can’t think of any other job where one would be given such opportunity with a track record like that.
In other news, as I write this Lizzi is balling her eyes out from the Grey’s Anatomy episode where Izzy pulls the classic “I’m dying but still getting married” trick. Doesn’t she know that’s a classic gimmick used by these shows to facilitate the waterworks? Just for the record, I can’t stand Grey’s. It’s one of those rare shows where I actively root against the protaganists. I despise Meredith Grey (even though I saw the actress that played her in a Tokyo restaurant last year, which in my book means I should like her) and I hate her best friend, Christina, just as much. Those two women are entirely too much trouble, always making things way too complicated with all their mind games. And they strike me as miserable human beings who deserve nothing in the way of happiness. While I’m sure most of the female viewers love Derek Shepherd (aka McDreamy) for his undying loyalty to Grey despite her many useless shenanigans, I think he’s a wuss. That dude and his hair could do way better than her and her emotional baggage. The only saving grace on that show is Mark Sloan (aka McSteamy), the cocky yet cool plastic surgeon. But for him, I’d be happy to see this series end in a fiery explosion that takes down everyone at Seattle Grace. Except, of course, for Dr. Sloan, whom I hope will be out enjoying some afternoon delight with “little Grey” when things go down.
Random Japan
While out running errands today, I passed an average-looking, middle-aged Japanese woman sporting a t-shirt that definitely deserves a special “Random Japan” shout-out. The shirt was a rusty brown with a big star in the middle. The star was outlined in hot pink and located within it was a blurred photo of what looked like a cowboy clutching a microphone. Emblazoned across the front of the shirt were the words, “The Fuckin Baby”. Mind you, this woman was average in every respect and nothing about her screamed “edgy”.
Curious to know if I was missing out on some obscure band or comedy troupe, I Googled “The Fuckin Baby” and came across no such thing. Instead, I stumbled upon a MySpace page whose author qualifies as douchebag of the highest order. Click here for some wonderful unintential comedy. To give you a taste, this little tool from Jersey lists his occupation as “full-time hustla”, quotes income of “$250,000 and higher” (who in the world posts their income on these sites?!?!) and lists his high school major as “fincial advisor”. Beautiful stuff.
Quick Hits
1. Dear Brett Favre – Let it go, man. Let it go. Your work here is done.
2. I don’t typically involve myself in the personal affairs of celebrities but the Madonna adoption fiasco in Malawi is beyond ridiculous. Those activists claiming that the little girl she is trying to adopt would be better off with relatives are taking a maddeningly romantic – and irresponsible – view of how the world should work. Sure, all else being equal, a child should be raised by its own family. That’s fairly obvious. However, there are two very important variables here that change the calculus materially. First, the little girl, whose name is Mercy James, is an orphan in a country with a GDP per capita of $834. Her mother died during childbirth (at age 14, mind you) and her father is nowhere to be found. Second, the woman seeking to adopt Mercy happens to be the most successful female recording artist of all time, a distinction that has rewarded her with an estimated net worth of roughly $500 million. The judge blocking the adoption may think he’s coming from a principled place, but the reality is he’s stripping this child of a future most children can’t even fathom, whether they hail from Malawi or Philadelphia. Assuming Mercy is required to stay in Malawi, someone should check back with her in ten years or so to see how she’s holding up. My guess is her quality of life will be less than ideal, meaning this judge will have plenty to answer for in justifying his stubborn stance. She has every right to hold that decision against him for the rest of her – and his – life. It’s basically like her winning the lottery and then having the prize withheld on a technicality, like not completing the address section listed on the back of the ticket.
3. It would appear a foregone conclusion that Justice Souter’s seat on the Supreme Court is going to be filled by a woman, likely of the Hispanic or African American variety. In other words, males (particularly of the Caucasian variety) need not apply. This reminds me of how Obama’s Illinois senate seat “needed” to be filled by an African American male, (enter the now infamous Roland Burris) and how Hillary Clinton’s NY senate seat “needed” to be filled by a woman (they even went a step further and picked a blonde-haired, blue-eyed one). Now, I’m all for diversity. But I’m not for the manufactured type we commonly refer to as affirmative action. These jobs, just as all the others in our country, should go to the most qualified, capable people available, regardless of sex or skin color. Not only does the current system exclude a meaningful portion of the talent pool but it also reinforces a system of reverse discrimination that is shameful in its application. Discrimination should be unacceptable in whatever form it takes.
4. What in the world was Danny Gokey thinking with that song last night? That ending was horrific. Don’t ever go there again, Danny Boy. Get back to your sweet spot and stick with it. In other news, I was sad to see Allison go. That girl has got some pipes and I sure hope she scores a recording contract of her own. I guess this deep into the competition, any of the remaining contestants will likely do just fine in the music biz going forward.
5. I watched the Chelsea-Barcelona Champs League semifinal this morning. What a great game. Two heavyweights going head-to-head with the stakes higher than ever. After Essien’s brilliant strike in the 9th minute, it appeared Chelsea was well on its way to a showdown with Premiership rival Manchester United later this month in Rome. However, despite being down to ten men, Andres Iniesta burried a drive from just outside the box three minutes into injury time, shocking the hometown Blues and everyone watching. The strike gave Barcelona the edge in the series’ tiebreaker, sending The Catalans through for what should be an exciting final. Unfortunately, the game was mired by horrendous officiating. The main referee, Tom Ovrebo, put on a show that I would rank among the worst I have ever seen. The guy missed at least five penlaty kicks – most of which would’ve gone to Chelsea – and he handed out a red card or two that stemmed from phantom fouls. Speaking of cards, UEFA should institute a new rule that would allow teams to field their full squads for the Champs League final. That is, all cards leading up to the final match should be wiped out. This is the match that is supposed to pit the two finest football clubs on the planet. The least the viewing public can expect to see is two teams operating at full speed. Instead, we’ve got teams that are missing key ingredients thanks to the wims of mistake-prone officials. For example, Barcelona’s Dani Alves, a magnificent player who happened to put on a terrible show at Chelsea, is going to miss the championship match thanks to yellow card accumulation. The guy is admittedly a bit of a hothead and was playing more than a bit off-kilter but to ban him from the final is a disservice to the sport and its fans.
The Beautiful Game
Just in case anyone is interested in seeing the beautiful game at its finest, check out the below clip. It shows Cristiano Ronaldo’s free kick against Arsenal in yesterday’s 3-1 Manchester United victory in the second leg of their Champions League semifinal. I can’t wait to read Rob Hughes’ synopsis of this tussle in tomorrow’s IHT.
The best part of that clip is the announcers. “It’s 35 yards or more…too far for Ronaldo to think about it…oh!…absolutely sensational!”.
Man U now awaits the outcome of the Chelsea-Barcelona match at Stamford Bridge today to see who they’ll line up against later this month in Rome for the grand finale. It’ll be interesting to see how the Spanish squad bounces back from that excruciating 0-0 draw that the Londerners forced at Camp Nou last week. Barca, known by many to be the best attacking squad on the planet, were stymied by a determined and clever Chelsea defensive game plan that was designed to sniff out any creativity the Spaniards could muster. Though an eyesore for the viewing public, the plan worked to perfection with The Blues stubbornly – and miraculously – forcing a stalemate that will need to be settled back on the home turf of Stamford Bridge. Clearly, the balance of power has shifted to the side of Abramovich’s boys, which is an unexpected outcome to say the least. Though Chelsea should never be considered a massive underdog, Barcelona has arguably the strongest team around and was considered by many a shoe-in for the final.
Speaking (tangentially) of David vs. Goliath scenarios, Malcolm Gladwell came out of hiding to write another interesting piece for The New Yorker recently. Entitled “When David Beats Goliath“, it examines the wondrous tendency for underdogs to frequently overcome the odds, weaving in military strategy and youth basketball along the way. A worthwhile piece for those Gladwell fans in the house.
