Huckabee wins Kansas. Shocking that the state which became a laughingstock the world over by mandating that intelligent design be taught as a theory alongside evolution in its public schools would serve up a victory for a candidate who openly admits to rejecting the concept of evolution. An anti-science state for an anti-science presidential candidate, like two peas in a pod. This development hit a nerve with me and has unleashed a rant that has been a long time coming.

Can we take a step back and appreciate how absurd it is that not only do we find it necessary to inject the question of evolution into a presidential debate, but we have a candidate who doesn’t believe in it putting up a respectable fight for this land’s highest office?! It’s not a stretch to presume that Mr. Huckabee is a biblical literalist; he says the bible is the true word of god, so let’s push him on that. That is, why don’t we make him answer other ridiculous things found in the bible that have been roundly disproven by science over the years. For example, surely Mr. Huckabee agrees with other irrationalists that the earth is flat and that the sun revolves around the earth, just as the bible teaches.

You know what else the bible teaches us? “Suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence” (1 Timothy 2:12-15). Indeed, Huckabee and his wife were among 131 signers of an advertisement that not only opposed same sex marriage but also supported a resolution enacted by the Southern Baptist Convention that “a wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of christ.”

Huckabee believes that god has played a direct role in his presidential bid, providing him with staying power that is admittedly impressive on several levels. Of course, we’ve seen what having god on your side has done for Bush, so the only reasonable response to this should be one of shock and horror. Hell, Huckabee even fielded a phone call from god confirming that the almighty supports Bush’s presidency, providing yet another example of god’s poor judgment.

When questioned about the blurry line that he has drawn between politics and faith, Huckabee has responded, “I put my head on the pillow and I just want to make sure that the father above is pleased. In essence, I can say that I have one client to please.” He also has said that “faith doesn’t just influence me – it defines me.” And, perhaps most disconcerting, Huckabee believes that we should amend the constitution so that it is in god’s standards.

Huckabee also believed (at one time, at least) that we should isolate AIDS patients from the general population, and he opposed increasing federal funding in the search for a cure during his 1992 run for the U.S. Senate. Instead, he suggested that Hollywood celebrities fund AIDS research from their own pockets. Oh yeah, he also said homosexuality could “pose a dangerous public health risk.”

What does he think of atheists, you ask? See the below from his 1998 book, Kids Who Kill: Confronting our Culture of Violence.

Men who have rejected God and do not walk in faith are more often than not immoral, impure, and improvident (Gal. 5:19-21). They are prone to extreme and destructive behavior, indulging in perverse vices and dissipating sensuality (1 Cor. 6:9-10). And they—along with their families and loved ones—are thus driven over the brink of destruction (Prov. 23:21).

Where does Huckabee stand on the issue of race in America? Just check his overtly racist remarks in South Carolina about the confederate flag.

Now, I know that Huckabee stands little chance of winning the Republican nomination, but it just bothers me that he has made the splash that he has during this primary season. I mean, seriously folks. Huckabee is batshit crazy. Let’s just make peace with that and move on. If you need more ammunition to convince you that we should be looking elsewhere for our future leader, Matt Taibbi’s revealing piece on Huckabee in a recent Rolling Stone article is worth revisiting.

By the way, if Huckabee can use religion to get into the pants of the religious right and Giuliani can shamelessly run on the tragedy of 9/11 (what was so special about happening to be mayor of the city that was attacked, anyway?), then I reserve the right to be superficial and judgmental as I parse through the candidates in choosing how to cast my vote for president. As such, not only do I refuse to support an evangelical wingnut, I also refuse to vote for a man whose family looks like the one pictured above. By the way, did you know that one of Huckabee’s fat slob sons was kicked out of the Boy Scouts for torturing and killing a stray dog? That Huckabee kid, what a jokester! Perhaps he should read his dad’s book for some guidance.