I don’t really like Karl Rove. Though I must admit that he’s proven his worth from a political acumen perspective many times over, he just kind of rubs me the wrong way. Maybe in the same way that the smarmy Dick Morris does, another political guru who helped Clinton successfully navigate the polling tea leaves during his presidential campaigns. Both of these guys are extremely good at what they do. So what if the Republicans got their collective rumps handed to them during the latest midterm elections – that was more a referendum on Bush’s strategic military, economic and international relation blunders than anything else, all of which had everything to do with Dick Cheney and little to do with Karl Rove. So, yes, Karl Rove is smart and downright good at his job. However, he still just bothers me, which really irks me because I actually ran into him once and proceeded to commit one of the most inexplicable acts of my life. I was waiting for a flight at O’Hare Airport, bound for NYC, I think. Naturally, I had some time to kill so I went to the airport bar to order a beer. There’s a guy next to me in line that looks awfully familiar to the face gracing the pages of Newsweek, Time, etc. at the moment (this was a couple of years ago when he was still being lauded as a political genius). So I turn to him and mutter something to the effect of, “Should I know you?”. He responds by asking for my name and proceeds to shake my hand and introduce himself as Karl. Yep, that’s Karl Rove, I thought. I knew it! Then, all of sudden, I kind of give him a playful nudge in the arm and say, “Keep up the good work”, before taking my beer and heading off to a table (he was buying a bag of peanuts, just for the record). Keep up the good work? He managed to put one of the worst and most ill-equipped presidents of all time at the helm and that’s all I could come up with? That’s like a New York Knicks fan running into Isiah Thomas and….well, I think we know how all of these examples end up. The bottom line is I said something that wasn’t even remotely close to revealing my true feelings. Not that I would’ve said anything malicious. After all, he was just doing his job. But commending him for this president was probably a bit much. An incredibly pitiful showing by me, to be sure.

Anyhow, the point of the story is that, despite my distaste for Mr. Rove, I happen to agree with one of his most recent statements, which basically said that it is entirely too early in the political season to be discussing potential presidential candidates. That being said, I just can’t help myself given the developments during Oscar night. What does a profligate, self-indulgent night in Hollywood have to do with the 2008 presidential campaign? Al Gore. Curious? Read on. Here’s what I’d like to see happen. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton proceed to destroy each other’s credibility while America sits back and lets them do the thinking for them because everyone is too confused over whether they’d rather have a woman or a black man leading their country. That last line must have Strom Thurmond rolling over in his grave. Anyhow, good old Al just sits back and enjoys basking in the Hollywood limelight while pictures of Obama on the beach and audio of Hillary screwing up the national anthem continue to dominate the airwaves. Then, when Hillary and Obama are both lying on the floor soaked in their own blood, in walks Al Gore to lean down and take the candy from the baby. Just think about it. Pedigree? Check. Being a two-time VP for one of the most popular presidents of all time (domestically and internationally) doesn’t hurt. Not to mention he probably should’ve won the 2000 presidential election but not for that wonderful state famous for its oranges and Gloria Estefan sightings (it’s true, I saw her once at a Nobu in South Beach). Oscar? Check. Nobel Peace Prize? Ch-che-check! Think about it. Al Gore has probably never been more popular than he is right now. The world is on his side when it comes to his pet project these days (none other than global warming). The box office loves him, so Hollywood loves him, which means the soon-to-be ruler of the world Toyota loves him (thank you Prius!), and those savvy Swedes will grow to love him even more in the coming months when they award him the Nobel Peace Prize. Talk about a brilliant political/marketing campaign! Seriously, if he threw his hat into the ring right now, Hillary and Obama would start squabbling for second place, Biden would come out and actually admit that he’s running for some secretarial position (even odds on secretary of state), and the GOP will resort to running either a used sack of soccer balls or Pat Robertson (please, please put this guy in the spotlight everday with a microphone in his hand – PLEASE!) because they’ll know their fight is futile. Not a layup. Total slam dunk. A Gerald Green leaping over Nate Robinson kind of slam dunk (though I actually thought Dwight Howard’s sticker slam was way cooler). If Al Gore ever wanted to be president, he’d be a fool to pass up this shot. Seriously. It’s his for the taking. Of course, he has said numerous times that he has no plans to run for office again, but how many times did Nick Saban say he had no interest in coaching Alabama? Hmm….

Just a friendly reminder to everyone that today is Darwin Day. The quote in the title of this post is reported to have represented the last words of Charles Darwin, spoken to his wife, Emma, who just so happened to also be his cousin (things were different back then, I guess). I figured that would be a nice lead as we enter the week of Valentine’s Day. Anyhow, while we sit back and watch the world’s inhabitants tear each other apart, much of which is brought about by conflicting religious beliefs, let’s take a moment to humor the more rational side of humanity. While our fearless leader and the Christian right attempt to demonize the brilliant and ground-breaking concepts of evolution and natural selection (see Kitzmiller vs. Dover Area School District), those of us who still appreciate the scientific method can raise our glasses to the life and contributions of one Charles Darwin. Thankfully, most attempts to introduce intelligent design (a misnomer if ever there was one) as a valid counterpoint to evolution have failed miserably in the U.S. as well as elsewhere in the world. As a result, Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection remains the most scientifically-robust and acceptable explanation for how our species came to be. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin share the same birthday? February 12, 1809. Anyhow, follow the link below to learn more.

www.darwinday.org

Also, on a random note, do yourself a favor and clink on the below link. It’s basically the story of the potential pitfalls facing the business of online education, particularly that provided by certain institutions (e.g. Apollo Group’s University of Phoenix), which will serve of particular interest to my colleagues. However, what’s more fun is the collection of photos in the article. What a strange combination, to say the least. What’s up with the student pursuing his bachelor degree? I’m sorry. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy, but thank goodness these courses are online. I couldn’t imagine how painful it would be to have to sit next to this guy for a semester, much less one day ask him for a copy of his notes. Also, check out the photo of the president of the University of Phoenix. First of all, was that picture taken in a dungeon? Secondly, is that a pencil mustache? Do people actually still wear those? Third, that sweater is borderline horrendous. It’s the kind of sweater that I would buy my buddy on his birthday as a joke. Finally, is that a wax figurine standing in for Mr. Pepicello? It looks like something that would be found in Madame Tussaud’s in London rather than serving as a photo in the NY Times. Either that or he’s sweating profusely. Seriously, they couldn’t scrounge up a better stock photo that didn’t make him look either incredibly uncomfortable in his own skin or like a serial child molester? Just the guy I want leading my online post-secondary institution!

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Check out my gallery to see the latest photo updates. I’ve included a nice little tour of my new apartment and part of the surrounding area. There remain a few things to do with the place, but most of the major issues have been addressed. Unlike back home, apartments in Japan apparently do not typically come fitted with blinds. As a result, I’ve had to special order custom-fitted curtains, which will make for a nice addition to both the aesthetics of the apartment as well as to my personal sense of privacy, which I assure you is of much greater importance. I can only imagine how much fun my neighbors have watching me stumble around my apartment each night! Anyhow, click on my gallery and check out my new digs. In case you’re wondering, the picture I’ve included with this post is Norman Rockwell’s “Crackers in Bed”, which is one of my favorite paintings. It reminds me of home, so I figured it would serve as a nice complement to this post.

See, I told you I was a terrible handicapper. And look, if you would’ve gone against my predicted outcome, you could’ve made some money, just like I said. Seriously, though, what a disappointment. If you would’ve told me that the game would largely be played in a driving rainstorm, that Grossman would complete 20 of 28 passes and throw for the same number of touchdowns as Peyton Manning (1), that Devin Hester would return a kickoff for a score, that Thomas Jones would break the century mark rushing, and that the Colts would turn the ball over three times, I would’ve bet anything on the Bears walking away with this one. Instead, we saw the Bears manage to turn the ball over five times (three of which came from Rex the Hex) while their defense was eaten up by an underrated Colts ground game. Addai and Rhodes were perfect complements to each other and collectively managed to put up almost 200 yards rushing (Addai added another 66 yards receiving). All the while, Manning was his usually reliable self (gag me), confidently directing his offense with a smart mix of playcalling that helped his Colts to an almost 2:1 edge in time of possession. The feared Bears defense looked almost helpless out there. I even felt kind of sorry for them as they marched back onto the filled time and time again thanks to a completely inept Bears offense. They got very little pressure on Manning, and even when they did, he still managed to sit in there and deliver (see the Reggie Wayne touchdown with Tank Johnson tugging at him). Manning was poised and dangerously effective, and he showed what it takes to be the leader of a Super Bowl champion. He just looked like a professional out there, which is something Bears fans haven’t seen in a long, long time. Manning deserved the MVP; however, in my estimation, Joseph Addai was just as valuable to the Colts today.

Then there’s Rex Grossman, the anti-Manning, let’s call him. Watching him stumble around on the Bears’ first possession of the second half was laugh out loud funny. That’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud. Somebody cue the Benny Hill theme song punctuated with Homer Simpson “doh!” exclamations. Grossman fumbled several snaps and even managed to trip over his own feet. Sure, he’ll blame the wet ball for the fumbles, but Manning was subjected to the same conditions and managed to not only handle his snaps but to also remain upright for most of the game. The two interceptions that Grossman threw were classic Hex moments – trying to make plays were there were none to make. He should have had more, actually. There were several other bad decisions that should have resulted in picks had the Colts defenders been able to make the play. One that I recall specifically was when he narrowly avoided a few sack attempts, rolled to his left, and went on to produce one of many “what the f?” moments by throwing the ball direclty to a Colts defender who clearly had the inside position on Desmond Clark. Not to mention the safety was in great position to also make a play. And what happened to Hex on that pick that was returned for a touchdown by Kelvin Hayden (you know, the one that started with the world’s worst pump fake followed by the slowest set up of all time)? The replays showed a disinterested, lackluster attempt by Hex to get back and try to make a touchdown-saving tackle. He actually could’ve made a play if he really wanted to. It’s the Super Bowl! You’re supposed to put it all out there! Brutal. Just brutal.

I remember complaining out loud during the first half about the lack of emphasis being placed by the Bears on the passing game. Hex only had 10 passing attempts during the first half and had managed to connect on eight of them. I thought, if you don’t trust him to throw it, then why do you have him out there? Of course, they allowed him to open it up a bit during the second half and the results speak for themselves. Right, right, I thought to myself. That’s why they didn’t let him throw it more early on. Because when he does throw it, there’s a good chance he’ll do something stupid and ruin your shot at a championship. All that being said, credit should also be given to the Colts defense, whose postseason renaissance culminated in a solid Super Bowl performance. They looked hungrier and way more aggressive than their counterparts, flying around with wild abandon and laying some pretty tough licks.

Maybe I lost sight of the fact that the AFC is far superior than the NFC in terms of depth and talent. Or maybe I was simply blinded by my distaste for all things Peyton Manning. The bottom line is the better team won. Now the Bears must move on and think about what they do at QB next year. I’m sure Lovie Smith will come out and say that Hex is the starter and will remain the starter heading into training camp this summer. But, come on. It’s plain as day that Hex is a #2 at best in the NFL. Can you think of another team that would make him a starter today? Fine, I’ll give you Oakland and Cleveland, but anyone else? I say they go the stopgap route and hand the ball to Griese for the next year or two. Meanwhile, they continue to ride a talented defense while they hope for a solid pickup in the later rounds of the next few drafts, or perhaps another free agent acquisition. Griese is certainly no savior but he’s the lower vol option here. He won’t wow you as much because he lacks that gunslinger mentality, but he also won’t take you to the depths that Hex does. Griese has proven capable of managing games well in the past and I’m sure he will make fewer mental mistakes than Hex. Let’s be honest, the only way to go is up from here.

Those of you who know me well appreciate the fact that I represent a bit of an enigma when it comes to sports. On the one hand, I am a rabid sports fan. When it comes to my morning ritual of checking out the latest sports news on ESPN.com, I’m like a fat kid on a cupcake. I literally think about it on my way to work in the morning. I even tempt myself with a glance at the computer before I hit the shower, only to tell myself to wait, maybe more news will come in the next hour. What a tease. So what? Every self-respecting sports fan reads ESPN.com, you say? True, but I follow that up with quick checks of CNNSI, CBS Sportsline, Sporting News and NDNation, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Oh, and I also listen to ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption when I get ready for work each morning. And I check back with ESPN.com several times throughout the day, despite the fact that my day is now America’s night, which isn’t the most active time for news to be broken back home. When I lived in Chicago, I subscribed to the Chicago Sun Times only for the sports section, which I read religiously. However, despite my current addiction and many years of stockpiling useless stats and highlight reels in this brain of mine, I am the world’s worst fantasy sports player as well as gambler. I routinely finish in the bottom of the league rankings, and even managed to turn in an 0-12 season last year in one of my fantasy football leagues. That’s right. I didn’t win a single game, which is probably harder to do than to go undefeated. The writing was on the wall, to be honest. I spent much of the draft that cursed year with my head in my hands, bemoaning the fact that I somehow managed to stumble my way into Clinton Portis with my first round selection. It basically snowballed from there and it seemed like each subsequent pick was more ridiculous than the previous one. I completely lost the joystick that night, and even contemplated suicide. My luck in handicapping sports events isn’t quite as dismal, but in no way instills confidence, to be sure.

The above explanation serves as a disclaimer to my prediction for this year’s Super Bowl. There is an incredibly high probability that I am completely off the mark. Probably greater than 90%. In fact, if you’re looking to make a quick buck, it’s highly advisable that you place a bet in total disagreement with mine, from the outcome to the over/under to prop bets involving the number of times Dwight Freeney introduces himself to Rex Grossman (1.5).

Back to the event at hand. The Super Bowl is clearly the single greatest sporting event in the U.S. I would say the world but that would do a massive disservice to that other sport called football, whose World Cup clearly dwarfs our Super Bowl in basically every possible sense. Nonetheless, the Super Bowl is a very fun and exciting event, and the two-week hype machine accompanying it is wholly unnecessary yet oddly tolerable. I must admit that it is quite comical to watch correspondents scramble for a full two weeks to come up with ideas for their columns. One headline I saw recently documented the previous interactions Peyton Manning had with various members of the famed (yet incredibly tired) 1985 Chicago Bears championship team throughout the normal course of being an obnoxiously overexposed quarterback in the NFL. Seriously, is this really a newsworthy story?

By the way, my buddy Leo forwarded the below website to me, and I think it deserves everyone’s attention. The basic thrust involves a proposal that the day of the Super Bowl should be treated as a national holiday. What’s better, it proposes that the following Monday also be considered a holiday so that all of us sports fans can sleep off the hangover. What a great concept to put your weight behind! For the record, I am taking Monday off so that I can watch the game (which begins my Monday morning at 8:30 AM) and to hopefully celebrate accordingly afterwards. Obviously, I would prefer to not have to take a valuable vacation day for this, so please check out the website below and do your country some good.

https://www.superbowlmonday.com/main.cfm

So that brings us to the main event. Bears-Colts. A matchup notable not for involving the first black coaches to ever coach in the Super Bowl, but because it pits two of the fattest cities in America against each other. This leads me to hope that Dolphin Stadium’s structural integrity is a match for the tens of thousands of potbellies heading its way. And I’m sure that the added weight of the mustaches worn by all those Ditka impersonators will not be insignificant. What’s really fun is the mental image that I’ve got of good old midwestern football fans cruising Collins Ave. in South Beach. I spent some time in South Beach last year and must admit that I found it highly overrated. However, we were treated to celebrity sightings of Hulk Hogan and Gloria Estefan, and, I must admit, the food was fantastic. Prime 112 is the real deal and the venerable Nobu never disappoints. However, the trip was really only worth it just so that I can sit here today and imagine all those Colts and Bears jerseys waddling around amid what I found to be an antagonistic environment for them. South Beach is what I would describe as an odd mix between a third world slum, the neighborhood of Sean Penn’s girlfriend in “Colors”, and what would probably happen if you picked Las Vegas up and moved it to Laguna Beach (sans the casinos, naturally). End result: super swank hotels, restaurants and clubs amid abject poverty and gangbangers who may or may not decide to shoot you in the face for wearing the color blue in the wrong neighborhood. But I digress….

Here’s what my head tells me about the matchup. Peyton Manning is really good, and, perhaps more dangerous, he’s “due”. He’s got two Pro Bowl receivers, a solid two-pronged running attack accompanying him in the backfield, the ultimate X factor in Dallas Clark as the old school H-back, and a guy named after the best day in the week snapping him the ball (Jeff Saturday). Plus, the notoriously mediocre Colts defense is peaking at the right time. I’m also reminded of when Steve Young finally took down my ‘Boys and Aikman and went on to lay a thumping on the favored Chargers. Not that the Bears are favored (actually 7-point dogs), but you get the sense that Manning is coming into his own as that great quarterback that finally made good (with his recent slaying of that Brady/Belichik monster finally behind him). And, despite the tornados recently prancing around in parts of Florida, I’m assuming weather won’t play a factor on Sunday, which surely must work in Indy’s favor. Note – if it rains, all bets are off. Scratch that – if it rains, Bears win. Hands down.

Anyhow, on the other side of the ball, you’ve got an incredibly inconsistent Rex Grossman, who I believe at once represents the Bears’ only hope for victory as well as the likely source of defeat. I’ve heard a lot of commentators, as well as head coach Lovie Smith, point to the Bears record this year as evidence of how good Grossman is as a quarterback. But the reality is that the Bears won in spite of Grossman, not because of him. He put up some of the most atrocious QB ratings I have ever seen this year, and to think that the Bears actually won most of those games is a testament to their defense, special teams and coaching, not to Grossman being a winner. It’s no secret that the Colts will likely stack the box to contain the “thunder and lightning” tandem of Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson in an effort to force Grossman to beat them. What many hope for is that Grossman will play a safe, smart game and do just enough to manage the game properly. That’s to say, they hope that he will play not to lose rather than to win, which is reminiscient of the sentiment surrounding Trent Dilfer when the Ravens won it all a few years back in a victory over the NY Giants. That Ravens team clearly won on the strength of its defense, special teams, and running game, and Dilfer wasn’t asked to do too much (ended with only 150 passing yards and 1 TD). He managed the game well, but what’s more important was his early 40-yard TD toss that opened up the scoring. This is the kind of start that Grossman needs to get his confidence going early and to keep the Colts defense honest. I think Grossman will be called upon to make some plays simply because the Colts will try to stop the run and force the Bears to rely on Grossman’s arm to put points on the board. What the Bears have going for them here is a solid offensive line and a decent receiving corps that includes a burner in Bernard Berrian that is matched against a banged-up Colts secondary. In addition, the Colts best bet to pressure Grossman into mistakes, Dwight Freeney, has had a pretty quiet postseason and I’ve read somewhere that he’s not very good on grass. Plus, he’ll be matched up against big John Tait, a grizzled vet who certainly is no pushover. Bottom line is that Grossman will have to make a couple of plays as well as limit his mistakes in order for the Bears to win this one.

Then there’s that great Bears defense, the heart and soul of any serious Chicago Bears team. This unit will be called upon to slow down the Colts offensive juggernaut and I think they’ll be up for the task. They’ve had their lapses this year, including against the Seahawks just a couple of weeks ago, but I think this unit is too fast and determined to not show up in a big way Sunday night. Urlacher will be solid as always, Briggs will make his plays and the D-line should do a decent job of slowing the run as well as getting pressure on Manning. However, the guy to keep the closest eye on is Ricky Manning, Jr., who will see plenty of the field since the Bears will likely go nickel most of the time to cover Dallas Clark, who has had a big postseason thus far. This other Manning, who has already proven to us that he’s playoff-sturdy from his Carolina Panther days, and that he knows how to turn a laptop computer into a weapon, must have a solid game for the Bears to be successful. However, this also means that the Bears’ Hunter Hillenmeyer won’t be on the field much, with the added DB leaving the Bears susceptible to the run, which could turn out to play a more important role in the Colts offense than most expect. What makes me most nervous for the Bears is the WR-CB matchups. I think Nate Vasher will do a decent job with Reggie Wayne, but Charles Tillman may have a tough time with Marvin Harrison, who has been taking a lot of heat for his lack of playoff production. Tillman is a solid CB whose strength is his size and aggressiveness, which may not serve him well against the speedy and shifty Harrison. I suspect that he’ll give Harrison plenty of cushion early on, but when the Peyton-Harrison connection keeps eating up small chunks of yardage so easily, Tillman will likely try to start jamming Harrison at the line. This may work most of the time, but if Harrison gets off the line too quickly, this could spell trouble for the Bears. Another important note is that Peyton Manning is a smart quarterback who reads the game well and doesn’t make many mistakes. The Bears defense is a pretty straightforward one that doesn’t throw a lot of different wrinkles into its gameplan to confuse the offense. This could make it easier for Peyton to potentially outmanuever Ron Rivera and his troops.

One more thing to consider in all of this is the fact that the love-fest between coaches Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy has reached nauseating proportions. Dungy is Smith’s mentor and it’s blatantly obvious that Smith worships the ground Dungy walks on. Dungy returns the favor and is clearly proud of his pupil done good. I can picture these two staring lovingly at each other from across the field, mouthing the words “you da man” only to have the other one respond with “no, YOU da man”. In listening to their quotes, you get the sense that Lovie almost would prefer that Dungy get the win, and vice-versa. Obviously, the two are competitors and will do everything they can to position their teams for success. But once the game ends and they meet for the obligatory handshake at midfield, we may be treated to yet another historical first in the NFL – a handshake leading to a prolonged hug leading to full-fledged guy-on-guy action. All caught on camera for the world to see. That would put the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction to shame!

On to the prediction. Initially, I kept thinking that the Colts would win, and 27-20 sounded like a good score. However, the more I thought about it, the more I started leaning towards the Bears. Now, I’m an adopted Chicago Bears fan since I’ve lived in Chicago for the past ten years or so, so maybe I’m a little biased. But I think the Bears have a lot going for them. Most pundits and observers have written them off just like they did against the Saints, which is a great motivator in sports, and the Colts have already got their monkey off their back (the Pats) while the Bears are still carrying theirs (the 1985 Bears). Plus, the Bears have Devin Hester, who is capable of changing the game in the blink of an eye. Hester is the most dangerous return man since Desmond Howard and he’s my darkhorse for MVP. He can be dangerous not only by scoring outright but by setting the table for the Bears offense, which may be just as effective since you want to run at least a little bit of time off the clock and keep Manning on the sidelines. Furthermore, I’m of the belief that defense wins championships. While there are some exceptions, this generally holds true for basically every sport, from baseball (pitching, more specifically) to soccer to basketball. Look at the latest runs of the Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs as well as the success of Italy in last year’s World Cup. The Bears defense is certainly better than the Colts and will ultimately prove more capable of putting its team in a position to win. The Bears finished #6 in team defense this year compared to #22 for the Colts. The last time a team won the Super Bowl despite finishing outside of the top ten in total defense was 1983 (Oakland Raiders).

Finally, I simply don’t like Peyton Manning. Nor, for that matter, do I like his brother Eli and his dad Archie (basically because of what they did on draft day to the Chargers; how great is it that Rivers has turned out to be better than Eli?). I dislike Peyton not necessarily because he’s overexposed, which he is, but because he just annoys me. His voice is the equivalent of nails on the chalkboard for me, and all of that stupid dancing and gesturing he does at the line of scrimmage in an effort to confuse the defense really bothers me. He has even admitted that most of it is for naught, that it’s designed to confuse. Come on! Is this really necessary? Last I checked Tom Brady was a pretty good QB, and he doesn’t have to dance around like that. It’s just lame. Kind of like how coaches cover their mouths with their call sheets when they announce plays into their headsets. Do they honestly think that someone is standing on the other sideline reading their lips? Though, now that I think about it, maybe there is. If the coaches are doing it then they must have people attempting to read the other team’s calls, kind of like how jealous people are that way sometimes precisely because they are the ones with something to hide. Hmmm….

Finally, on to the real prediction. Bears 30, Colts 17. Colts strike first but Bears settle in and ride their special teams and defense to the title. Grossman tosses 2 TDs and the defense/special teams account for the rest of the scoring. Too much defense, too much Hester, too much Bearing down!

Now, let’s all sit back and watch Urlacher cement himself in the pantheon of windy city middle linebackers. Let’s also hope that global warming leads to a freak snowfall in Miami on Sunday so that we can relive this classic Phil Simms moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIsQckTZmH8

Go Bears!